(Leah Williamson and OC)
The grass smelled like victory and sweat, but mostly like nerves.
I tied the laces of my boots tighter than I should have again until my toes ached. A habit, I guess. Like pretending Leah's smile didn't light a wildfire in my chest every time she passed the ball to me in training. Like nodding calmly when she mentioned Elle, her girlfriend, as if the name didn't make my stomach curdle.
"Oi, Winters!" she called, jogging past, blonde hair bouncing in a tight ponytail. "Move your arse, you've got a starting spot to earn."
Her grin was playful, her tone light, but my heart skipped anyway.
"Yes, Cap," I replied, forcing a smirk.
She winked at me. A wink. I nearly forgot how to stand.
I joined the rest of the team, keeping my breathing steady while my insides did cartwheels. Leah was sunshine and gravel soft and warm but with a stubborn roughness that cut into you when you got too close. And I was definitely too close.
She'd taken me under her wing when I joined Arsenal last year. Said she saw a fire in me. Told me I reminded her of herself at that age. I didn't tell her she reminded me of every poem I'd ever read and every ache I'd never voiced.
I knew I was being ridiculous. Leah had Elle. Gorgeous, stylish, lives in New York Elle. The girlfriend she FaceTimed every night. The one she lit up for, even when the call ended with silence and sighs. The one I was expected to hear about with a smile on my face.
The whistle blew. Training began.
We moved through drills, passing patterns, one touch possession. I stayed sharp. Precise. Focused on the ball, the game, the movement but not on the way Leah's voice sounded when she shouted my name during a counterattack. Not on the way she slapped my shoulder when I threaded a through pass perfectly into her stride.
"You're on fire today, Ari!" she beamed.
I nearly told her right there. Told her how I woke up thinking about her laugh. How I watched her lace up her boots with more longing than I'd ever watched anything. But instead, I just nodded.
"Trying to keep up with you," I said, adding a grin that barely held.
After training, we hit the showers and changed in the locker room. The girls buzzed around, towel-whipping and teasing and planning the post-practice coffee run. I took my time, hoping Leah would do what she always did wait until the crowd thinned before coming to sit beside me.
Sure enough, she dropped onto the bench with a tired sigh.
"Elle's been quiet lately," she murmured, unwrapping tape from her fingers. "Feels like I'm texting into a black hole."
There it was. The knife.
I offered the safest answer I could. "Long distance is hard. Maybe she's just busy?"
Leah nodded, rubbing her neck. "Yeah, maybe. It's just... she doesn't get this world. Football. Us. What it takes."
Us. The team, she meant. But my heart clung to that word like it meant more.
"You've got people here who get it," I said softly. "Who get you."
She looked at me then, really looked. Her eyes didn't flinch away, didn't skim past like they usually did when she got vulnerable.
"Yeah," she said. "I know I do."
The silence stretched between us, heavy and full of things unsaid. Then she broke it with a nudge.
"C'mon, Winters. You coming to Brew & Dribble or what?"
"Wouldn't miss it," I said, standing too quickly, pretending my chest wasn't aching.
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The café was a cozy mess of mismatched chairs, Arsenal posters, and espresso steam. We crammed into a booth: me, Leah, Katie, Lotte, and a couple others. The conversation jumped from gossip to tactics to holiday plans. Leah sat beside me, her thigh brushing mine under the table. I stayed perfectly still, like moving would shatter the fragile spell of being this close.
Someone made a joke about player crushes. Laughter erupted. Katie elbowed me.
"What about you, Ari? Who's your footballer crush?"
Leah turned to look at me, waiting.
I panicked.
"Uh... Mbappé," I lied. "Speed kills."
More laughter. Leah raised an eyebrow. "Didn't take you for a PSG fangirl."
I shrugged. "I'm full of surprises."
She held my gaze for a second too long, then smirked. "I'll keep that in mind."
My heart thudded. She didn't mean anything by it. Probably. Probably just Leah being Leah. Flirty, confident, utterly unaware of the chaos she caused inside me.
________________________________________________________________________________
That night, back at my flat, I stared at the ceiling and thought about her laugh, her smell, the way she called me "Winters" like it was her secret nickname just for me.
I replayed every touch, every look, every word. Wondered what it meant when she texted "You okay?" out of the blue. Wondered what it meant when she joked about me being her favourite teammate. Wondered if maybe just maybe she felt it too.
But I knew better. I'd seen the way she cradled her phone like it held a heartbeat when Elle's name popped up. I'd heard her whisper, "I miss you" into dark hotel rooms.
I was just the backup plan. The warm presence on cold nights. The girl on the bench beside her, not the one in her arms.
Still... some part of me hoped.
And hope, I was learning, was the most dangerous position to play.
