What I Would Give

A Fresh Start, Maybe?

I woke up to the steady, gentle beeping of the cardiac monitor. My throat was sore, but I managed to breathe without a problem. A police officer was posted outside of my door, but Josh was no where in sight. I propped myself upright and grabbed a paper cup. I poured the luke warm water from the pitcher, and into the paper cup. Water rolled off the side of my mouth when I chugged the water. I used my arm to wipe the excess water off of my face and turned on the TV. Cooking shows, professional sports, and TV drama, none of it seemed appealing. It seemed useless, so I grabbed the remote once again and turned off the TV. Someone knocked on my room door, and then entered.

They must have been identical to the police officer from my house because his deep gentle voice moved through the room, "Hi, it's me again." He smiled at me and flashed a toothy smile. He was dark skinned, and had the enormous height of a basketball player. His shoulders were muscular, but he lacked bulk. "Do you remember me from yesterday? I was the stranger that tackled your father to the ground, Carter Bennet," he spoke concerningly. I only nodded my head and followed him around the room with my eyes.

" I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you went through that entire ordeal. In fact I'm really glad your neighbors called about a noise disturbance. They said they had heard a plate shatter and then an irate man yelling furiously. I wonder why they never called about something like this before," he contemplated.

I blinked a couple times, and kept a cold stare. Memories flashed in my mind, and I felt an overwhelming sense of emotion. Tears gushed from my eyes, and landed one after the other on my blanket. The cardiac monitor beeped faster, but I felt numb to my surroundings. All I could think about was reliving my life, constantly, incessantly. Pain over whelmed my chest, my terrible life kept replaying, there was no escape. Two nurses rushed into my room and forced the officer out. Everything seemed so unclear, until I felt a tight grip on my body. I was startled by the sudden embrace. The embrace felt surreal, almost fake. I haven't felt this kind of feeling of warmth in years, the feeling of being wanted.

I suffered physically from my father, but what hurt most was feeling like a mistake. I could take the physical abuse with ease, if I knew someone cared about me. But the truth was, my life felt like a mistake. The physical abuse became substantially worse, when I knew that I wasn't loved.

Who knew that I could feel again? I don't have to be a shell of a human anymore, just for the short moment I was alive. Tears continued to roll down my face, but they were tears of joy. I wiped away the tears that flooded my eyes, and gazed at the person hugging me. Jet black hair pressed against my shoulder, it was Josh. He lifted his face and gazed into my eyes with deep pain. I wrapped my arms around his loose T-shirt, and held on tightly. This was a moment I never wanted to lose, a person I never wanted to let go of.

My heart rate declined to a normal pace, and the nurses left with a needle in hand. A clear liquid content was stored inside the tube of the needle.

Josh stood back and cupped my face with his hands. He was the only one I could see, nothing else mattered. Josh dropped his hands from my face and walked towards the corner of the room, where he pulled up a chair. The chairs four legs scraped against the vinyl flooring. Black scuff marks trailed closely behind.
Josh caressed my hand and just stared at me. He seemed lost in thought and concern, but then his eyes moved towards the figure at the door.

My father peered through the door in a blue hospital gown. His greying beard disappeared, while his nappy hair was gently combed through. That was the only aspect of him that changed, he was still a grotesque, despicable human being. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the right words. Calling him a despicable human being was a compliment. There is no word to describe this kind of monster, one that didn't even deserve a name.
Before I could speak up, Josh was already in attack mode. The chair flew backwards and slammed against the white wall. He charged through the hospital room and grabbed my father by his collared shirt. His words spewed like venom,"How dare you come here. If you think for a second that you can waltz in here, pretending to be the good guy, you're mistaken. If you so much as scratch your nose, I will..." My father cut him off abruptly, " I know you must be afraid, but I haven't hurt a soul. This is all a misunderstanding." Every last word uttered from his mouth was a lie. His words were repulsive and knotted my stomach to the point of hurling. Josh only stared into my father's evil eyes and clenched his jaw.

Officer Bennet sensed the growing tension, and quickly intervened. He snaked his way between Josh and my father, abruptly pushing them apart. Bennet's features suddenly shifted and his eyes pierced my father's. "You. Get out of here, before I'm suspended for assault," he snarled assertively. My father conceded and regretfully left the room. When my father opened the door, a thick layer of gauze was wrapped around his right forearm.

A dead silence enveloped the room, broken by the beeping of the heart monitor. My body was immobilized, every terrible memory of 3 years wrenched my heart. Josh moved back over to me and at the edge of my bed and comforted me.

"Why is that monster here? He should already be in a courtroom with the cuffs slapped on," Josh seethed.

Officer Bennet sighed and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "After one of the officers heard about the true nature of the incident, he hauled your dad through the house, and pushed through the front door. The young officer slapped on the cuffs, but your father was so intoxicated, he "lunged" into the thorn bush on that sits in front of your front door. His right arm was terribly torn up and all along his chest. Though, I can't exactly say I feel bad for him, he's a true scum of the Earth human being."

Josh chuckled when he pictured my father plunging into a bed of thorns. He imagined the drunk man groaning when he realized the huge mistake he made. Josh acknowledged the officers report, but reality dawned on him.

Since both Josh and I were minors it's mandatory for us to be put in the foster system. Josh's face turned a snow pale and his eyes widened. He thought about the possible scenarios that would happen, and all of them involved us being separated.

"What's wrong?"officer Bennet asked with concern.

Josh rammed his boot against the white walls, and muttered under his breathe. He leaned his forehead against the bleak walls, seemingly lost in thought, but then he turned around. "There's no way me and Nat get put in the same home, there's too much of an age difference, is there? I swear the world is so screwed up, it only gets worse," he gritted.

Officer Bennet slowly nodded, but soon spoke up. "What about m-me?" he stuttered me nervously. "I'm sure my wife and I could take you guys in. I'm not saying to call me dad or anything, but just your guardian. I'll have to talk to her about it, but she'll understand. You guys seem like good kids," he managed to get out.

The thought shocked me, someone actually cared about two kids with nothing going for them. I imagined a new family, a good one, a fresh start. I could feel my body fill with excitement.

"And what's the catch? Are we your charity case to move up the ladder or are you just like him? There is no way that some stranger would want us. It has only been half an hour, what makes you think we should trust you," Josh fumed.

"Josh-,"I started, but was cut off.

"It's true I could potentially be a child murderer or just use you to make myself look good. And it's true the world is screwed up, but there are good people out there. I don't know what others say about me but my wife is a good person, I'd like to think that I am too. Josh, it's impossible to trust no one, and live happily. You'll constantly look aver your shoulder suspecting someone is going to stab you in the back. But if you have to constantly ask if you can trust a person move on. That is the simple fact of life, the world is going to be treacherous and wicked. Are you foolish enough to try to rely on it, and hope it won't stab you in the back? Or will you choose some great people that you rest your life on. You only have one in your life, Natalie, do you have room for two more? All I'm asking for is a chance and to be open minded. Just come to our house for a week to recover and plan, and then go live on the streets or throw the both of you into the foster system," Mr. Bennet spoke with conviction.

Silence enveloped the room, while Josh contemplated his offer. "Fine," the only words Josh said for the rest of the day. This was our fresh start, maybe?