What I Would Give

Beach Confession

When Grey said he was sleeping over, I grabbed I pillow and blanket from the closet. Grey waited by the couch where he grabbed the pillow and blanket out of my hands. He started to sort out his "bed" and asked if we had an extra toothbrush. I went over towards the bathroom and grabbed a brand new toothbrush from the cupboard. I closed the cupboard, and Grey startled me when he stood near the door.

"Ahh!" I gasped.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"No, it's fine. I should be the one that's sorry. I kind of just dumped all of my problems onto you and now I feel bad. For most of my life, it's just been Josh and I, but he always knew what was going on and imagined how I felt. But when I retold you, I felt the weight of everything that's happened. Now I've dumped it onto you, without realizing how depressing it all is. I'm sorry for depressing you with my problems, my stupid reactions, and for calling you stupid." I gave Grey an apologetic look.

"But you didn't call me stupid," he looked perplexed.

"I did in my mind, I called you stupid. I called your muscles stupid and I called your tall height stupid, and the fact that you climbed the tree without breaking a sweat stupid. And I insulted you for-" Grey stopped my train wreck apology.

"It's okay, Natalie, believe me I wasn't depressed. I was mad at myself for not being able to help you when you were hurt. I was mad at myself for lying, for being selfish. When you told me everything, it didn't make me feel depressed, I was relieved. I was pretty happy... wait that sounds weird. Okay, umm... My entire life things have been handed to me, and I felt like a waste of space, not doing anything. After meeting you I wanted to know you and I couldn't stop, and I'm happy I did. Now I can make a difference in your life, I can help you, so yea, I'm happy. And most of all Natalie I really li-" Josh walked out of his room towards the two of us. Grey shyly turned away from me and refocused onto Josh.

"So did your dad say it was okay for you to stay over for the night?"

"Yea I called, he just wants me home sometime tomorrow. Oh! Nay here's my number in case you need anything . Well, I'm beat. I'll see you guys in the morning, right?" Grey's facial expression changed and he turned around towards the couch.

"Good night Grey." Josh and I said in unison.

"Josh, you probably don't want me to ask you this, but what did you and him  talk about?" I asked.

Josh ran a hand through his floppy jet black hair,"I guess you'd find out sooner or later. He, Jack, wants visitation rights to you under my supervision, but I don't like it. Jack came over and gave me all the legitimate legal papers, so we're going to spend next week with him. I'm sorry there's not anything to do, we've tried this before and it didn't work." Josh shook his head in disbelief.

"It's okay, I mean we tried right? I just have to get through the day without freezing up around him, I'll get right on that." I gave a lighthearted laugh to lift the mood. Josh pulled me into a tight hug and nodded his head. "Plus you'll be with me the entire time, right?" I continued on.

"Right" Josh kissed me on my temple and I flailed around, and wiped the imaginary mark off my temple. He warmly smiled at my spasm, and turned on his heel to bed.

I walked into my room, closed my door, and leaned against it. Violet drapes and small lights hung from the posts of my bed and created a dreamlike aesthetic. My cushy bed was surrounded by a fuzzy blanket and soft pillow. My body was entirely exhausted and I closed my eyes until sleep washed over me.