Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 15: Damian or Cap

Damian or Cap?

“Chloe, I saw everything.” Damian’s hurt voice told me. “And you! How dare you come here and steal my girl!” he said, walking towards Cap. Cap stood his ground.

“Please, Damian, no.” I knew instinctually that if Damian fought Cap, Cap would win.

“I can’t believe you, Chloe.” He said. I walked closer to him to plead my case. “No, you stay back! I can’t, I just can’t have you here next to me. Chloe, I don’t want to hear your shit about how it’s not how it looks like or how you can explain. But I'm gonna give you a fair chance and let you choose because despite the fact that you just shat, spit and trampled over my heart, I do love you.

“It’s me… or it’s him.”

Well, I was too worked up to make that choice right then and there. Instead, I told them both to leave and I shut the door on love. Once again, Jennifer Aniston, Katherine Heigl, Kristen Stewart, and all those other bitches that went on and on about how great love was, betrayed me. Follow your heart my ass.

Monday came along and I pulled a Cap, I chose not to go to school. Instead, I avoided them at all costs. I refused to answer any calls, and locked all entries to the house, allowing only Bonnie to come in. I felt safe now that killer-dude was dead – the police came and I told them the story Cap told me (that Bonnie and I had killed him in self-defense), with now quickly healing burn marks to prove my innocence – and even safer with Bonnie now sleeping over at my house.

I was officially Anti-Romance Chloe. Aside from shutting out any Cap and Damian related thoughts, there was the hating America’s sweetheart thing, burning every Jane Austen book I owned, laughing at Lifetime’s cheesy movies, and several other unmentionable things that would tarnish my feminine reputation.

On the outside I looked like a pissed-off grieving widow, but on the inside – though I didn’t want to admit it – I was dying, crying every time I saw something that reminded me of my loves. I’d never been in such a rut in my life. Throughout the boy-crushing part of my life there’d been Damian and Damian alone, now there was Damian and Cap.

“No!” I told myself. “There’s no way you’re thinking about them. After all they put you through, you at least deserve some you-time,” I said trying my best to convince myself that what I was saying was the truth, but to no avail. Instead, I was left in my bed utterly alone and bawling like an idiot.

Why couldn’t love be simple? I mean, it’s a simple word, just four little letters. But it’s probably the most powerful word in the history of humankind – alongside hate, of course. So then why couldn’t it be simple? Why did it have to be so damn complicated? Why was it that you were able to love many people at one time, but at one point you’d have to choose between them, undoubtedly leaving you regretful even if you made the right choice? Why could love bring so much joy and yet, so much pain at the same time? Why couldn’t love be like love in fairytales: boy meets girl, boy falls I love with girl, then they all live happily ever after? Why did it have to be that girl had to make a choice between the guy that’s been there for her all her life, and the guy that showed up about a month ago? Why, oh why couldn’t I have both?

Because I had nothing to preoccupy myself with, I was left with questions and questions that were left unanswered. And the more and more I tried shifting my thoughts away from Cap and Damian, the more and more they seeped into my thoughts, sapping my dignity away with a single virtual glance. I was at a crossroad that could change the way everything in my life worked, but I put up a valiant job to ignore it.

Being alone isn’t good, I decided.

But what could I do now? I loved Cap more than anything in my life. Simple choice then, right?