Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 8: Saturday

Saturday

Because of last night’s terrifying end I wasn’t exactly in the mood to go on the thing with Cap. Bonnie slept over because I refused to let her stay at home alone – and because I was too shaken up to drive her home.

I walked out onto the front porch with Bonnie, my heart thudding rapidly when I opened the door of the garage. This morning the garage seemed to open extra slow, moving inch by excruciating inch. When the garage door finally opened completely I got the shock of my life.

The car was fine! It was as if the car hadn’t collided with both a man and a tree. There wasn’t even a hint of a scratch on the black metallic paint. I supposed I should’ve been relieved when I saw it like that, but a cold chill ran through as I realized that either Bonnie and I had imagined almost dying – again – or someone had crept here in the middle of the night and fixed the car. Both thoughts weren’t exactly comforting so I was even wearier to go on the thing with Cap now than I was ever before.

Bonnie studied the car thoroughly and when she was sure the scar was spotless, she gave me a look of uncertain terror that mirrored what I was feeling. It was as if someone had brought a completely different car but that looked exactly the same as my own – even the blood that covered the leather seats were gone.

“What just happened?” Bonnie said, her pixie-like face shook with distress.

“We couldn’t have imagined it, we just couldn’t…” I said shaking my head.

“Then why’s the car looking even more spotless than before the whole, you know, thing.” Bonnie said shyly and with good reason. After all, we did bump a man that seemed to be after me.

It was getting closer and closer to the thing – dare I call it a study date – and I couldn’t shake the numbing feeling in my chest. 

First, there was the whole incident at the amusement park – I was stupid to accept Cap’s offer to meet at that very same park –, then it was the guy I drove straight through and finally, it was the man I rode over - who I was damn sure was the same guy I’d driven through. I needed to stop hallucinating or bumping into strangers that scared me.

But something about the man reminded me of someone. Deep inside my subconscious I knew that I knew from somewhere. But where that somewhere was, was what I didn’t know. Deep inside my subconscious I felt like I knew Cap too. Somewhere deep in me I knew for a fact that Cap had allured, captivated, and terrified before, but where? I was sure during my sixteen years I’d never seen, heard or knew of Cap – then why was I feeling like I knew him?

I tried convincing myself that I wasn’t going crazy – an attempt that didn’t convince even me. Ever since Cap had entered my life, my life had changed. Gone were the days where it was just Damian and gone were the days Bonnie and I could just sit at home, watching reruns of Gossip Girl on the CW. Now, it felt like every second, my mind was captured by something that Cap did, whether it be physical or psychological. Something about Cap hypnotized me but there was something in him that I knew for a fact was dangerous. He had himself said he was dangerous – monster was his precise words – and I’d be stupid and naïve to fall for someone like him. But even though the logical part of my mind told me to stay away from him as far as possible, I couldn’t help but feel something for him. And then just like that a revelation shot through me. The reason Cap captivated me was because I was in love with him.

I sat staring in the mirror trying to convince myself that what my mind had conceived was impossible. I tried telling myself that being in love with Cap was an emotion no sane person would be capable to feel. I tried telling myself that the events of last night must have muddled my thinking. I tried to tell myself it was preposterous to fall for someone so quick. I tried telling myself that it was Damian I loved, and not Cap. I tried fooling myself into thinking that my mind was once again playing pranks on me.

But the more I tried convincing myself that I didn’t love Cap, the more I knew it was completely true, and I knew I knew that I loved him from the very first day I’d laid my eyes on him. For some reason part of me had utterly denied ever having feelings for him – someone that scared and allured me with those very same dark eyes, someone who acted like he was repulsed by me then made me feel like I was the only girl in the room with the very same glance, someone I felt like I knew for decades even though I’d only met him less than a month ago.

And here I was dressing for him, ready to go on my first unofficial – study – date with him, Capriano Delguard.

I dropped Bonnie at her house – she gave me a skeptical ‘you-beta-watch-out-girl’ look when I told her I was meeting up with Cap for those tutoring lessons - and hugged her tightly before she got out. 

I drove up to the parking lot of the amusement park and hesitantly got out, my heart beating frantically at both eagerness and uncertainty. I looked at my dim reflection in the mirror. I looked fresh and casual, maybe too nice for just a study date, in Light grey True Religion Vanessa cargo pants, a white Alexander McQueen asymmetric drape jersey tank top, brass skull and cherry blossom necklace and black tree cape, with a red Rock & Republic Lauren coated-cork sandal. I grabbed my normal grey damier canvas Louis Vuitton bag from the passenger seat with my books before leaving.

The night was dark and unusually cold, completely devoid from any moon with a few stars scattered over the midnight blue horizon. I tugged on my cape as a low breeze raised goose bumps on my skin. I looked around for Cap, my eyes catching him the instant I looked for him. He was leaning over a dark Jeep looking handsome in his fashionable looking Goth-like attire. He had on an unbuttoned black Burberry London Wallace officer’s peacoat which showed his white John Varvatos Star USA Alice Cooper eyes tee, black vintage Prada jeans and faded black boots. Compared to clothing we contrasted - maybe even in our personalities.

I walked over to him, my heart thudding in nervousness. His eyes found me, making my overworking heart beat faster. I looked shyly away and smiled awkwardly.

“Chloe, you look, beautiful,” he said the words in sincere awe. I blushed deeply.

“Thanks you don’t look too bad yourself. So, where we off to?” I asked, my eyes still not locking with his. Now that I knew that I loved him, I didn’t dare make too much contacted with him – just merely enough not to look and feel socially awkward.

“Would you mind going on a ride with me?” he asked, outstretching out his hand in a gentleman like way. My breath stopped at the thought of having to touch him when looking at him was almost too much to handle efficiently. Not wanting to look like a fool, I put my hand in his, the otherworldly connection Cap and I felt rushing through me like adrenaline.

“S-s-sure, why not?” I said, stuttering lightly when my nervousness got the better of me. A crooked smile broke across his face and a sense of déjà vu ran through me. I didn’t know how, but somehow I felt like I knew that he’d only reserved that smile for me.

He led me to a rollercoaster that I’d never personally enjoyed. Tacky posters were plastered onto the wall close to the entrance. Somehow I felt safe with Cap next to me, much safer than I’d felt when I was with Damian or Bonnie. The feeling of security felt odd since whenever I was with Cap, I’d never felt safe, not once. I’d always thought I couldn’t be trusted to control myself when I was around him, and now that he was so close to me – his hands entwined with mine and the smell of his Tom Ford Tobacco cologne hanging on his coat –, I knew the feeling of untrustworthiness would increase.

I knew this night would change everything. What I didn’t know was if I was ready for that change.