{REMAKE} Indifference - Dip (Damien X Pip)

Chapter 8

Pip feels drawn to Damien.

It was something about him.

Damien had not a care in the world, it seemed.

Here's what Pip knew about Damien: He was cool (somehow), he was alone (like him), he was surely autistic, and Pip isn't against being Damien's boyfriend.

Pip isn't gay.

Let's start there, he isn't. Maybe Pansexual? Just not gay. Pip knew that Homosexuality was an abomination. He would never want to disappoint God like that.

However, there was something about Damien that allured him. Pip should know better, Pip knows he should have known better, but he loves swimming with Sharks, it seems.

Pip should know better, what would he think of himself? In that way? Pip didn't want to disappoint God.

Pip sat on it.

Pip sat on it for a while.

He just thought about it, would he rather be with Damien or be with a God he wasn't even sure was real.

It was a decision that Pip didn't know if he could live with.

He just didn't know.

Damien was so... Damien, and Pip hardly touched his Bible anymore.

Pip is going to do it.

Who cares about it, and if it doesn't work out right, then Pip might as well just repent and pray for forgiveness.

He knows it doesn't work like that, but he wishes and hopes that maybe Jesus will forgive him.

Hopefully.

So, now that Pip very much likes a boy. What should he do? How should he act on it? He could push the feelings down and never confess, or confess and possibly be rejected.

Pip would rather do the latter.

See, Pip is fine with rejection for the most part, so if Damien were to reject him, he'd be fine. Pip doesn't do that 'we can still be friends' bullshit.

He doesn't believe in it. So yes, Pip is fine with cutting Damien off after this.

Hopefully, this isn't too awkward.

Pip hoped it wasn't awkward at least. If it were, that would be so weird, and Pip would definitely lose sleep over it.

That was on Pip's mind as he made his way over to Damien's house to hangout. He planned on confessing then, but then he thought about how this could go.

He'd just drop in the conversation, in a not weird way.

That'd probably work.

So, that was the plan, execution, and the thoughts behind it, nothing more, nothing less.

Pip made his way over to Damien's house, his thought racing as he moved timidly. Why was he so nervous? Well, it's only natural. When he got there, he walked up the stairs and into the... he doesn't even have any words to describe Damien anymore, at this point.

He walks into Damien's room, where he sat, unbothered as always. He looked like he was scrolling on TikTok, maybe doomscrolling, Pip didn't know.

Damien looked, up basically to just acknowledge Pip's existence, and go back to TikTok. He didn't say anything. Pip noticed that since Damien had gotten to South Park, he went from warm and kind of inviting to weirdly cold.

Damien was acting weird, but Pip didnt mind. He just knew attraction was there, and it was lurking in almost everything Pip did.

Pip opened his mouth to speak, but like most times, no words came. Pip hated this feeling, the feeling of being silenced so easily. Pip had felt like this once before, when he was picked on my kids in his grade, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. The called him Pip so much it was all he knew, made fun of him, hit him, they put Pip down like he had never know before.

Damien's gaze remained fixed on his phone, as he started to speak, his tone was bland, bored, condescending almost, "What is it?"

"Huh?" Pip hummed, he was a bit startled by the words coming so sudden.

Damien just looked up at Pip, his gaze was uninterested, which isn't surprising considering how he always looked bored nowadays, "I can smell the fear off of you, so I'd suggest you speak or stop worrying so much," he clarified, which was nice, but his tone wasn't. He talked sharply, calculated almost.

Pip shuddered almost as he spoke, it made Pip feel stupid in a way. He's not stupid, "I'd tell you, I really would, but I think it's best we don't right now," Pip managed to say, not quietly but in a very polite way.

Pip felt horrible. He's doing it again, being nice just to hide whatever else might be going on. He's not as used to doing that, not anymore. Pip stopped being so nice in freshman year, when he realized it wasn't healthy for him to be so nice even though it wasn't part of the reason he couldn't stand himself.

Damien's eyes glinted with something Pip recognized faintly, as Damien turned his phone off and looked towards Pip, "It's okay, Pip. Whatever it is, I won't be mad or anything," he said, he spoke as if he cared about Pip truly.

It made Pip sick to his stomach, sick because he knew this trick all too well.

He cares now, but would be disgusted when he found out later.

Pip knew.

Pip took a deep breath, and actually looked towards Damien as he
began slowly, but surely, "Damien, I don't want to make things weird, but I know that's impossible. I like you, in a more than friends kind of way. I want to have a romantic relationship with you, and if you don't want that, then maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."

Damien stared at Pip almost blankly for a moment, not processing, Pip knew, but thinking. He didn't pause to process, he was thinking. So, when Damien finally cracked a gentle smile, and began to speak again, "I think I like you in that way also, Pip."

Pip froze, he felt... joy almost? Joy is great and all, but this was genuine happiness Pip hadn't experienced in a while. So, Pip smiled back at Damien, looking at him meaningfully with those eyes of his.

"Are you sure?" Pip asked, almost as if to check if what he was hearing was right.

Damien smiled a bigger smile, one that was of genuine joy, like Pip's, "Why would I lie?"

It was the right choice of words and everything. Why would Damien lie about that? He had no reason to. Damien was very blunt as well, so Pip had all reason to believe it was true.

So, just like that, it truly began.

The start of the end of Pip's life.