"welcome shrek to the show!!!!!!" jeremy welcomed shrek onto the stage, the audience clapping and screaming wildly
"nice 2 meet u jeremy kyle i am a big fan of urs!!!!" shrek smiled, shaking jeremys hand harshly
"tell me about urself shrek" jeremy ordered shrek, letting him sit on the shitty brown seats
"well i have been with lord farquaad for six years now, and we havent had sex 4 four years bc i didnt like his willy. but then he stuck it in my ear when i was sleePING AND NOW IM PREGGERS!!!!!!!" shrek cried
"lets welcome the man of the century, lord farqaad is on the jeremy kyle show!!!!!!!" jezza introduced farquaad onto the stage
lord farquaad ran to jezza, squaring up to him
"m8 i will mURK U!!!!!!!!!" farquaad shouted, swearing at jezza and his sidehoe steve the body guard
"sit down u little boy!!!!!! at lEAST I DONT GO AROUND GETTING PEOPLE PREGNANT!!!!" jezza shouted, pushing farquaad next to shrek, who was currently crying into a box of kleenex
"were u there at the time, r u big brother? i dont fink so." farqaad smuggly smiled, pushing shrek off the chair and laughing demonically
"shrek, we did sum lie detector results on faruqaad and we asked the following questions," jeremy helped shrek back onto the chair, opening the classic blue envelope
"we asked faruqaad did u wrongly get shrek pregnant? do u no who did?"
"im gonna pass 666% m8 u wotch i will!!!!!!!!" farquaad zipped up his nike jacket, tucking his badman socks into his airmaxes
"we asked lord farquaad did u wrongly get shrek pregnant? u answered no. why did u say no?" jezza spat in his face, farquaad getting very touchy touchy and flicking jezza on the cheek
"im telling the truf blud!!!!" farquaad shouted, earning a boo from the crowd
"this test says ur satan!!!!!!!!!!!" jezza threw a cross at him and a bottle of holy water
"wot the fuck farquaad how cud u???????????? this iz ova!!!!!!!!!!!!"
YOU ARE READING
preggers
FanfictionIn a land far, far away there lived a green ogre - but not just an ordinary ogre. His name is Shrek, and his partner - Lord Farquaad - has impregnated him. Shrek is devastated, and enrolls Obama as his godfather. Will Shrek and Lord Farquaad be able...
