DISCONTINUED--Letters I Can't Send (draco x reader)

46

ahhhhhh i'm so sorryyyyy i took a long break for mental health purposes but i'm back nowwwww!! i promise i'll try to finish up the fourth year soon and start the fifth one but i'm taking my time and being a perfectionist so we'll see how long it takes me lollll. but anyway enjoy the chapter (so sorry i stopped halfway thru the Yule Ball scene i feel so baaaadddd)

Draco's POV

Change of plans; Pansy has chosen a different dance partner—and if I'm being totally honest, I'm glad. I was fed up with her annoying attitude, and how she kept stealing glances at Blaise all throughout the night.

But as soon has Vienna by Billy Joel comes on, I find myself searching for her. When I find her, she is already looking at me.

I find that my feet move faster than my brain, and I'm there in front of her, holding out a hand for her to take.

I'm staring at her, a cold mask slipped over my face, shielding her from my true emotions.

She looks from my hand to her shit-date Harry Potter (who is sitting next her looking done and defeated by the minimal amount of dancing he had to do—that douchebag) and then gently takes my hand. Potter makes no comment on my stealing of his date, but I can see the disgust on his features as he watches us find our way to the corner of the Great Hall.

Our hands clasp, her palm slips to my shoulder, and mine to her waist. At first, we sway, then I lead her in a small circle, quickening our pace.

I twirl her around, and dip her so many times that she laughs and laughs like a small child.

When the music begins to slow down, I pull her just the slightest bit closer, to catch our breath. She puts her forehead on my shoulder as we sway slowly.

"You look gorgeous," I whisper and she laughs again. Both my hands rest on her waist and my fingers involuntarily fiddle with the decorations draping the fabric.

"Merry Christmas, Draco," she whispers in reply.

Oh, how I love hearing my name from her lips. "Are we doing that now?" I ask her. "First names?"

"I..." she hesitates, "I suppose we are."

"Then, merry Christmas, Y/n," I say in a low voice.

Funny how quickly things can change between us.

I smile to myself.

She pulls her head up off my shoulder and looks at me.

"Why did you come with Potter?" I ask her, and her face falls slightly at his name.

She looks away. "Well, nobody else asked me...and he asked me last minute, so I just said okay..." I listen to her answer. It doesn't sound good enough, but it will suffice.

I look down through the space between us and I see the white tops of her shoes. Definitely not heels. I look at her and smirk. "Nice shoes."

She rolls her eyes. "Do you think I would actually wear those deathtrap shoes?" she says and my smirk widens. "I mean I chose comfort over true torture—so I made the smart decision." She shrugs and I chuckle.

"Of course not, love, you don't deserve that," I say sarcastically even though we both know it's true. She deserves the world.

She checks her wristwatch and sucks in a sharp breath.

"It's getting late. Goodnight, Draco," she says, twisting out of my hold. She spins on her heel, leaving me alone in the corner of the Great Hall.

"Goodnight," I whisper after she's gone. I know what is between us in this moment can't stay this content for long.

..........

The day following Christmas, is when the Hogwarts Express comes rolling into Hogsmeade Station for the students going home until the new year.

I haven't gotten a chance to talk to Y/n about anything, but we will be spending the next week together, so we must get used to each other's presences—without messing things up. And there's only one way I know how to not mess things up. Avoidance.

I hoist my luggage onto the train compartments' rack and sit down near the window. It's blistering cold outside, and everyone on the train is suffering, including myself.

It hasn't stopped snowing for hours and I fear this train will break down sooner or later, delaying Y/n and I's arrival to the Manor.

But, soon enough, we arrive at Platform 9¾, everyone scrambling to get off the train. I spot my escort, James. He is a middle-aged man who has always been a sort of family friend to us. He has experience with muggle things (like driving a car) and rarely ever speaks to me or my mother. He only converses to my father, who has him do simple favors to the family—such as this.

I spot Y/n climbing down from the train car and I come toward her, nodding in the direction of James.

The car ride to the Manor is painfully quiet, but Y/n puts in her headphones, drowning out the rest of the outside world. Smart decision.

She looks at ease, but I know a blank expression better than anyone. I know the way it masks the truly difficult things in life.

Arriving at the Manor, we climb out of the car and I lead the two of us to the front door. I notice she still has her headphones i and without thinking, I yank the chord from her ears and she glares at me. I wait for her to put away her music before using a large silver knocker to knock on the door. Moments later, a house elf opens the door.

The house elf's name is Hix, but I'm not supposed to know his name. He slowly says, in his monotone voice, "Mr. Malfoy, Mrs. Malfoy and their guests are in the drawing room."

I merely grunt in response and head to my room. I'm sure my father does not want to see me. My mother, on the other hand, would, of course, like say hello, but she can greet me on her own time.

"Do you remember where your room is?" I ask cooly as I start a brisk pace to my bedroom on the second floor.

"I—aren't we going to the drawing room?" she say, speeding up to match my pace.

"I doubt my father wants to see us," I say bluntly. "Do you remember where your room is?" I repeat.

"No," she says and I exhale, annoyed, but not at her. Just being here, back home, makes me want to rip my hair out.

I reach my room and put my bag on my bed. Out of my peripheral, I see her step over the threshold and look at my bookshelf, dusting off the shelves.

"What are you doing—" I stalk toward her, but keep my distance.

"Just looking," she says, plain and simple. Just looking.

I step away, walking towards the door. "Come on."

I lead her to her room, not far from mine. I am about to leave when I turn around again, my gaze firm on her. "Don't come into my room again."

She looks like she wants to reply, but I spin on my heel and leave.

I don't want her coming into my life like this. My personal life—the one outside of Hogwarts. It's already uncomfortable for me to have her here, around my family and all of our secrets and scars. I'd rather keep her away.

a/n: so i was editing his chapter while eating overly/underly buttered noodles, they kinda got everywhere (on my couch, on me and my keyboard) so fun times! but i hope you enjoyed this chapter- things are kinda moving slow so i apologize =)