Diary Of A Mediocre Teenager

4|8|2015

Dear Diary,
School has started to become increasingly harder and the work load has doubled. I hardly have time for friends out of school as I'm determined to go from a mainly B average to an A average. I don't feel as if I'm putting too much pressure on myself but I've begun to wonder if my sub-conscience would agree.

School right now is surprisingly fine. I'm maintaining healthy and happy friendships with my peers, and I'm starting to make new acquaintances with other people in my year.

I've recently begun talking to a new set of boys who happen to be lovely and funny. the topic of year 10 formal surfaces quite often and I seem to get flustered whenever it's mentioned. I have the dream that most girls hold-the dream of getting asked to go with your dream guy. at this current moment my dream guy is in America, on stage playing to hundreds of thousands of people.

But in all seriousness I am aching for someone to ask me.

I would honestly say yes to almost anyone right now.

It's not that I don't think I'll get asked, but I just don't know if I'll get asked by someone decent.

The guy who I'm infatuated with at the moment is in the year above me and has a girlfriend who's a model. Convenient I know. He's in a band and is drop dead adorable. for the sake of privacy I'll refer to him as 'Bae'.

I talk to Bae on the bus occasionally and its probably the only part of the day that I look forward to- being able to talk to him.
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Anyhow, setting that aside for another time I'd like to talk about my recent self-realization.

I have discovered in the past few months that I'm strangely attracted to older dudes. When I say older dudes I mean like anywhere from 17-40. I also mean people like Harry Styles, Leonardo Dicaprio, Gerard Way etc.

Most people say this is normal because they're attractive men, and that it's okay because they have nice faces. but when I say attractive I mean I would do the nasty. then I'm like hold the fuck up. Leo is 40. I'm basically 16. He's almost three times my age.

When I put it in perspective I'm like oh shit. My friends joke around and say I have daddy problems and I'm starting to wonder cause this can't be normal.

Please. If you can relate let me know so I don't feel like a reverse pedophile.

All the love, I.