So here I am. Female. 18 years old.
An average person. Really short (I'm just about 4"6). Blond hair that I mostly wear in a high ponytail, it reaches to my shoulders and is really thin. Blue eyes and a straight nose, visible cheekbones but a round face. And I also have a lot of freckles, and many birthmarks on my arms and on my back. My weight is average which means I'm not skinny at all, but I am not fat either. But I really got no breasts (you literally have to search for them!) but a really wide hip. That sometimes looks strange but I don't care how I look. Most of the time...
Oh and I forget to mention my name. I'm Leila by the way (such a pretty name isn't it? It's the only thing I have always liked about myself)
So now that I introduced myself to you, I shortly want to sum up what happened in the years of my childhood that you've missed.
Well as you know I was nearly 15 when Jack and I broke up and Jenna and I had a big fight. I don't know if things went worse after that, I mean at least I did feel like myself after I broke with all of this high society stuff. But there I was. No friends, single, no one to talk to. I tried a lot to gain my old friends back again but they didn't want to even speak to me. Once I was annoying Caitlin she yelled at me and told me how I was never there for her 'cause I was busy making new and cooler friends than her. She shouted that if I had just listened once I would've know that she had the biggest crush on Jack ever since and that she felt like I stabbed her in the back when we finally started dating. She cried yet she was still shouting and screaming at me and told me that we will never ever be friends again. Then she turned her heels and walked away. I was absolutely crushed. I was shattered to pieces. There was no one left. Not a single person I could talk to. And I swear to god that you never ever in your whole life want to experience the moment of realisation that you have nobody to help you when you have a bad time. Nobody to call you to check if you were ok. No one to comfort you when you are crying. I still remember that feeling I got then, standing in the hallways of our school. It was like a giant fist squishing my guts. Then I started to freeze and my mind took me out of the hallway into another world to block out all this pain. I can't remember how I got out of the building but when I finally got to leave I lost consciousness. And this feeling got worse and and worse every day. I could barely force myself to stand up everyday. There was no point of living my miserable life. I was always alone trying to fight that dark demon rising up inside of me and making me weaker and weaker everyday. Then the rumors started and made life even harder. Some crazy cold hearted people started sharing the secret that I had slept with Jack the first time when I was only 13 years old, which was before I even knew him, but no one cares about those unimportant details, don't they?
