What are we? (Frerard)

Mistakes are made by all.

Gerard pov

The stuff my brother said hurt. Anger stung my skin not only because he was rude, but because he was right. I can't throw a party without getting high. I'm almost tempted to throw one just to test myself. I mean should I?

The situation could easily get out of control and ruin everything. I haven't been drunk in awhile and I'm only guilty of smoking a few cigarettes, but with Frank at my side. I feel bad for encouraging his already bad habit.

I've been somewhat sober for three weeks. I haven't spoken to my "friends" in that time period either. Mikey was right, they aren't the best to be around, but I don't really care. Besides, other than Frank they are all I've got; even if they're fake.

"Gerard?" Frank spoke as he did a gentle knock against the door before opening it.

"Sorry I kinda just rushed out of there."

"It's okay. Don't listen to Mikey, he's just looking out for you. Tough love."

"I know. It irritates me though."
"Why?" Frank sat beside me on the bed.

"Because I should be looking after him not the other way around. I'm a shitty brother. And overall I know he's right." Frank was speechless.

"Your not a shitty brother. " He manages to speak. I shook my head.

"Do you think I could change? Believe I could be 100% sober around my friends?"

"I don't know Gerard. I've never seen your friends."

"You're not missing much." I sighed as I pulled a cigarette pack out of my pocket and stuck it between my lips. Frank grabbed one too and I lit them.

~

Without further argument with myself the house was soon filled with people and loud booming music.

No drugs. I thought to myself.

I seemed to have lost Frank in the crowd of people and Mikey was in the corner staring at me before shaking his head a little and looking away. He was suddenly preoccupied with some dude who walked up to him. I didn't know him, but Mikey seemed too.

"Oh Petes here!" I suddenly hear Frank yell over the music.

"Frank! Hey. Who's Pete?"

"Guy from school. Great friend of mine." Frank chuckled.

"So, who's this?" My friend Jamia made her way over to Frank and she reeked of alcohol and heroine.

"Hey Jamia. This is Frank..... My boyfriend." Even with the straight up introduction she still gazed at Frank like he was her next fuck victim. Whore.

"You did good Gerard." She smirked as she ran a hand up Frank's arm.

Frank shot me and amused looked for obviously this girl was drunk out of her mind.

"Maybe the three of us could throw a private party sometime. Just us." She said I'm a slurred seductive manner.

"Nope. No thanks. Go away." He giggled and gave her a shove toward other people.

"So you throw a party and don't invite me? I'm hurt Gerard." Bert taunted as he approached me.

Yeah I didn't invite anyone with a dick smaller than two millimeters. Sorry."

"Right you would know. So I see you face is better." He smiled as he directed his attention over to Frank.

"Fuck you." Frank muttered.

Bert grinned amusingly. "So I see you've managed to not be totally wasted. Congrats Gerard. But we all know by four am you won't even remember your last name. With that Bert was gone.

Frank looked over at me and sighed though all sound was swallowed by the pounding music.

Frank pulled me into the bathroom and shut the door to somewhat muffle the music. "I just wanted to say I'm really proud of you Gerard. I know you can do this. You've already made it this far. It's midnight."

"Thanks Frankie." I sighed as I kissed him briefly. We opened the doors again and went back out to the party.

That's the last thing I remember from last night.

~

I awoke on the ground feeling like I was hit with a brick a thousand times. My mouth tastes awful and my I felt like puking, but for all I know I probably already have.

The house was of course trashed, and it reeked of alcohol and vomit. The sun shines thorough the curtains of the family room and I rolled over. "Gerard get up." I hear Mikey order, but my body doesn't listen. "Gerard you really fucked up."

"What do you mean?" I mumbled and manages to pull myself up on two feet.

Mikey pursed his lips. "What do you remember?"

"I didn't relapse right? Get high, did I? I don't feel it so I don't think I did. Oh god if I did." My hands stressfully pulled at my hair.

"No you didn't. But you drank...a lot. You kissed Bert."

"Wh-what?" I asked my throat went dry.

"You fucking made out with Bert. Who knows what else. I lost sight of you for a good hour and a half." Mikey cringed.

"But I hate Bert!- oh god wheres Frank." I put my head in my hands.

"He left long ago. I tried to stop him but he was really hurt by all this. You apparently said some stuff to him last night in your drunken state."

"Damn it. I'm such a fucking idiot." I fell to my knees.

"Pretty much. Also you threw up like 80 times earlier then blacked out so might wanna clean up."

I blinked at his straight forwardness.

"Don't give me that look. I told you this was a bad idea." He said sadly. Mikey rested a hand on my shoulder before leaving out the front door.

I was once again alone.