She Told Me Lies | The Joanne McKinley Diaries 1

I Told Them It Was Too Late

NUMBER OF DAYS UNTIL SUICIDE: NONE

Today's the day. It's my birthday. Big whoop. And I'm going to school today *internal groan*. I don't want everybody looking at me and wolf whistling or cat calling. Or the girls to be calling me a whore or slut or an easy lay.

What the fuck am I worrying about? After today, I'm not seeing anyone of them after today. I'm killing myself. No more Jayleen, no more Abel, no more cyber-bullying and no more Mai. No more ex best friend posting fake nudes of me just because she's a bitch.

I peel myself out of bed and go into the bathroom to have a long bath. I mean, it's the last one I'm going to take. I get out of the bathroom feeling the happiest I've been for a VERY long time.

"Good morning bitch!" I scream to Abel.

"Morning fucktard," I shout to Aiden.

And I waltz into my room. I pry on my uniform and wear my hair in a bun and grab my keys and phone and stuff them into my bag then grab my bag and get breakfast. It was only 6:50 and I was done so I made myself Nutella pancakes. I did mess up a bit with the mixture since it was a bit lumpy but I didn't care.

"Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes," I sing to myself as I sit down at the dining table. I open my phone and set all profile names as BirthdayBitch. I guess you could say I was happy. 7:30 rolls round and I literally run out of the house since I'm probably going to miss the bus. But I get there just in time and see Mai. I glare at her and turn around, plugging in my earphones. The bus comes and I climb in and sit down at the back upstairs. The bus was really bare today so that was a plus : more space for my feet. I'm about to put my feet up when Mai sits next to me. What is this? I'm about to move when she pushes me down.

"I can get you arrested for abuse, you know that bitch!" I scream.

"Why are you so happy?" She asked, completely unshaped from my last remark.

"Because I'm killing myself. Fuck the world and fuck life!" I say.

She looks crushed. I don't know why since she and Abel drove me to this.

"You can't," she manages to let out.

"It's too late," I say and move to a different seat and plug in my earphones again. No one was going to stop me.

It gets to Alisha's stop and, when I see her get upstairs with a massive happy birthday ballon, I smile and I take my legs off the seat for her to sit next to me.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She exclaims. I smile and take the balloon. I feel like I could burst. I felt that happy. And it seemed like Alisha noticed.

"Why so happy?" She asks.

"I'm killing myself bitches," I say. Alisha also looks crushed because she looks like she's about to cry.

"Don't tell me not to because it's too late," I sigh. And with that, we drop the subject and the bus ride continues as normal.

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We arrive at school and I walk through the wide halls with my balloon. All eyes are on me and I couldn't care less. Then people start to shout stuff at me.

"Happy birthday slut!" One person shouts.

"I love your fat ass as well," I say back.

"Whore," one mutters.

"Takes one to know one," I retort.

More stuff was shouted but I blocked it out. And after a while, people stopped trying once they knew that they couldn't get to me. But one person didn't stop trying.