She Told Me Lies | The Joanne McKinley Diaries 1

She Told Me To Believe In Myself

"8D, settle down so I can read the bulletin!" Mr Phil yelled. Mr Phil was the worst form tutor you could think of. Surprise planner checks, never read the bulletin and played favourites and I wasn't amongst them. So him reading the bulletin was very rare.

"Year8 talent show next Friday...."he pauses to check the rest. "Yeah, that's it. Talk amongst yourselves."

"So, talent show. You should audition. You're a killer singer," Mai encourages.

"No, remember year7 talent show? The projectile vomiting?" I warned.

"I know, I know but you're older and you've faced more so it should be easier and you're so much braver now," she pleaded.

"Fine," I gave in. "But if I end up vomiting on the crowd then I'll blame you."

She hugged me and started promising to take full blame if I vomit. But she seemed to be pretty confident that I wouldn't. We'll see about that.

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Lunch time came around and we were on the field, as per usual, and Mai decided that it would be a good idea to tell everyone about my audition for the talent show tomorrow.

"I'm still not sure I can do it," I warned.

"Rubbish, you can do anything," Mason cheered.

"You're so cheesy."

"I aim to cheese." I laugh and kiss him and Mai and Alisha start fake gagging.

"There's such a thing as too cute," Alisha stated. "But Mason's right."

I guess they were right. I gave in and they all cheered.

"What song are you singing?" Mai asked.

"This is Not An Apology by Bea Miller." I played the song and they all agreed that the song would be best for my voice since I can't go really high without shattering any glass in a 5 mile radius.

I just have to practice all day and then I'll have a chance of doing well at the audition.

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"Joanne McKinley?"

I get up out of my seat and took my position on stage and began to sing. It began ok then turned to being semi-decent. Or at least that's what I thought. I get off stage and Mai and Alisha and Mason start saying how great I sounded. I didn't think I sounded that good. They dragged me outside and played me the recording of me singing. I still didn't see the big deal.

"You are oblivious to facts!" Alisha said exasperated.

"But we still have to wait until tomorrow to see who's singing next Friday," I said.

"No you don't." A voice says. I turned around to see that it was Mrs Dixon. "We have made our decision on you and think that you're talent show material. Just train your voice for Friday." And with that, she goes back into the theatre to listen to the rest of the acts.

"I'm in?" I questioned.

"You're in!" Alisha and Mai screamed. Mason grabbed me in a bear hug and lifted me off the ground. I laughed and started to hit him to make him put me down.

"I'm in but I haven't won the talent show guys. Don't start rejoicing yet!" I warn.

"Sure," Mai says. "Stars today! So modest." 
We burst out laughing and walk to class since lunch was over. But I made it! I was so excited but so nervous and I just couldn't wait for Friday. With the support of two best friends and an awesome boyfriend, I was sure I could do it.

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When I got home, I told Abel about the talent show.

"I'm definitely coming and I'm so proud," she gushes.

"Yeah! Me too," Aiden says.

I laugh and go up to my room. These days, I was laughing and smiling more. Maybe I was on the way to getting the life that I once had.

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Today's the day, it's now or never. It's actually now or chicken because I'm up in two acts. I'm pacing up and down backstage and doing some first class worrying. Then Abel walks in and surprises me.

"Abel, you're not allowed back here."

"I know but I know how badly you worry and I'm here to tell you to stop worrying and to believe in yourself." And with that, she snuck back into the seating area.

Believe in myself, believe in myself. Yeah, just believe in myself.

"Now, singing 'This is Not An Apology', Joanne McKinley!"

There is a round of applause and I walk out on stage, ready for the music to start pumping. I breathe in and out and start to sing once the music plays. While I'm singing, I see Abel mouthing 'believe in yourself' and I do so. Once the beat kicks, in I start to walk around on stage and enjoy myself. Instead of being wound tighter than a coil in the middle of the stage, I felt loose and free. People start to clap to the beat of the song and cheer me on and I feel safe, if you know what I mean. People are actually enjoying seeing me perform and it feels good. As the song draws to a close, I'm disappointed but I'm happy that I preformed my best. The song ends and the applause is massive and my smile is broad.

I walk off stage and run to meet Mason and Mai and Alisha out back. I don't see them so I check my phone but then they run up to me and Mason surprises me with a kiss and I close my eyes, surprised at first, then starting to enjoy it. He grabs my jacket ends and pulls me to him and my hand lowers how to hold his neck. We end up shifting from foot to foot.

"Told you you could do it," he says.

I pull away and look at Mai and Alisha. They squash me in a sandwiched group hug. Then I hear a microphone being sounded.

"Oh, shit. They're announcing winners. Bye guys." I sprint backstage in time to hear the winners name.

"Joanne McKinley!" The mic booms. I stand in shock for about a minute until I feel people shove me onto stage. I walk, dazed, to Mrs Dixon.

"I won?"

She chuckles. "You won."

"Your prize is early lunch with whoever you want for two weeks, £50 prize money and a pack of coupons to miss ten minutes of classes at the end of the day so you can go home early."

Those were some alright prizes. I took the money and walked off stage. Then I held a squeal fest back stage.

"So who are you going to early lunch with?" Alisha asks.

"You guys," I say in a 'duh' tone.

"We're awesome people. We helped you do this," Mai says.

"It wasn't just you guys," I say matter-of-factly.

"Who else?"

"Abel. She told me to believe in myself."