Ending

Tommy

" Day 13, probably Monday or Tuesday. I still miss him so fucking much ." The man's words were dragged and his eyebrows were raised as he read the diary in his hand to the boy in front of him.

"Are you allowed to swear in this weird therapy sessions?" Thomas had the most blatant look on his face, like the world was going to shit and he couldn't care less.

"Only if I'm quoting you. Also, Mr. Murphy...yesterday was actually Friday."

"Who cares? You know what, Dr. Janson" the boy looked up "That stupid diary you recommended hasn't helped a tiny bit, so don't you think you should start... I don't know, changing your methods? To ones that actually work?"

"I'm doing my job the way I'm supposed to. You, on the other hand, wrote thirteen similar variations of the same phrase ever since you have began"

"You told me to write what I felt, that's what I feel. Any more stupid requests?" Thomas was now starring into the man's eyes, almost challenging him to respond something idiotic.

"Progress will come, I have no doubt of that. My only request is for you to keep writing in this diary every day." The therapist looked at the boy with such interest and intensity, Thomas actually began to feel his face burn.

"You know it's really creepy when you do that, right?"

"Thomas, you need attention. A young man like you shouldn't have to be forced to go through something like this. But you're not the only patient I have going through the death of a relative, if you ne..."

"a- a what?" His words were incomprehensible.

"...and they'll talk to you about their experie..."

"A what?" Thomas repited, loud enough this time.

"I'm sorry Thomas, what would you like me to repeat?"

Thomas laugh sounded so real, if he didn't know himself, he would have thought he was actually happy. "Janson, death of a what?"

The man sighed. "Thomas, you don't have to go through the death of your brother by yourself. I'm here to help. So is this diary, so you should really try to..."

"Brother" Thomas mocked, laughing once again "They didn't tell you, did they"

"Thomas?" the man's face turned from comprehensive to absolutely confused at this statement. "Are you okay? What do you mean?"

"I have no brothers, Janson." Thomas shook his head, with a smirk on his face, giggling like a little child. "Can't fucking believe this" He stood up and grabbed his jacket from a nearby chair. "Newt was not my brother." He walked to the door and opened it. "Newt was my boyfriend." He went through it, closed it behind him and started walking along the long corridor. "He was my everything." he whispered, to no one in particular "He still is."

*

Thomas avoided that street as much as he possibly could, but he had no way of doing it right now. He left before he should have so he wasn't going home with his mom. He decided to take a walk and unfortunately, he had to go throught that damn street. Dr. Janson had probably already called his mother about the little "incident" and he knew the sooner he got home, he would have to hear her talk about how rude he had been, and make him go to another session to apologize. Personally, he didn't give a shit.

He cursed every single thing present on that street and he kept his head low in an attemptive to ignore everything around him. Then, he had to cross it.

He looked at the crosswalk, just a few meters in front. "Fuck it" he murmured. He turned around to the road and crossed the street right where he standed, unlike his lover had done, ignoring the crosswalk. As he got to the middle of the road, his eyes wet with unshed tears, he stopped. He couldn't do this anymore, this thing where he stopped himself from crying. He had to do it at one point, and so he did. He dropped to his knees and cried harder than he thought he could. He was sobbing so loud he was sure everybody could hear him.