A Love That Kills

Like Joker and Harley

Hurry up, I thought as I waited for Sebastian inside his car. It was 2:00 a.m. and it was very dark, the only light coming from the dim moon. What the hell is taking him so long? This is the part I hate the most. The waiting. Knowing that this time might be the time he gets caught. It's just too risky. I was deep in my thoughts when Sebastian got in the car.

"Nicole. Nicole," Sebastian snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Oh my God! You scared me. What took you so long? You know this scares me. Why do you even do this when I'm..." He shut me up with a kiss.

"Drive."

~~~~~~~~~~~

We were in our apartment watching a movie. Sometimes it scared me how he could act like he was a normal person. I love Sebastian, but he is not a good man.

I gawked at the man in my bed as he reached for some popcorn. I remember the first time I saw him. It was love at first sight.

It was four years ago. I was tired of being so weak and used, I decided to seek out help. I didn't really know where to look for help so I signed up for boxing. That's when I saw him. Where he saw me. He was talking to one of the trainers but he was looking at me. We made eye contact, he ended his conversation and walked towards me. I pretended that I didn't see him and kept hitting the punching bag. He came up to me and started talking, asking questions about me. One conversation led to another and he convinced me to let him be my personal self-defense trainer. He taught me how to be strong, he taught me to fight. He never asked me to be his girlfriend, it just happened. One moment he was my personal trainer and the next thing I know, I was living with him. From the beginning, I knew he wasn't a good guy. I saw it in his eyes but I ignored it. I should have left as soon as I found out what it was he did. The first time I saw him kill a man I wanted to leave. It scared me but it scared me most that that feeling of fright and disgust quickly left as soon as it came. I know our relationship isn't healthy. And I know I shouldn't let him treat me like he does sometimes, but I love him. I never thought I would love someone so much that I wouldn't care being humiliated or hurt by them. Now I'm this man's partner in crime, literally.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt popcorn hit my face. He had a habit of snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Watch the movie. You wanted to see it and I'm the only one watching," he said angrily.

"What the hell, you got popcorn all over the bed! It's going to dirty the sheets!" He grabbed a fistful of my hair. 

"Then pick it up, bunny." He pushed me off the bed while letting go. I got up and did as he requested. Like I always did. I felt him glaring at me. I stopped doing what I was doing.

"You know, one of these days I swear I'll have them lock you up for good."

He got up and slammed me onto the wall. His eyes were blood red. He wrapped a hand around my neck and held my arms above my head with the other.

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to speak to me that way!"

"Stop! Ughh!" I tried to push him off and kicking him. He pressed his whole body against me.Something in his eyes changed. He let go of my neck and caressed my face. One moment he was trying to kill me, the next I was kissing him like my life depended on it. He picked me up and threw me on the bed.

Story of my life. We fought. We hurt. We made out. We loved.

Our relationship was crazy. We were both screwed up in our own ways. Our love was a mad love. Like Joker and Harley.