Sidemen Preferences and Imagines [ discontinued ]

JJ #2 (sad)

JJ's Pov:

A Polaroid. That was all that was left of her. A picture. I never knew that the day would come when the picture was the only reminder of the day she left.
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"JJ," she laughed over the phone. Damn, that was my favorite sound. If I could have one sound to listen to for the rest of my life, it would be her laugh. I loved it so much. "When are you going to get here?" I whined, a small pout on my lips. She didn't know that when she got here, I'd get on one knee and propose.

"Babe, it's a three hour drive and I've been driving for thirty minutes." She laughed again. I can imagine her shaking her head at my antics, rolling her eyes.
"Baby," I whined again, "I love you, I gotta go."
"Alright, I love y-"
The like went silent. Well, her voice did. The only thing you could hear was crashes and a high pitched squealing type noise, almost like nails on a chalkboard.

"Babe." I said, almost to myself, more then her. When she didn't answer, that's when I panicked. My hands dropped the phone, immediately covering my face. It was all my fault. She was focused on me, not the road.
The guys must have heard the phone drop, because they all rushed in.

"It's all my fault." I whispered.

********2 months later********

I held this picture in my hands, it's the first time I've seen it for months. I knew her condition, fatal. And although I hurt, I kept wondering about how she felt. If she did pass, and went to heaven, how bad would she feel? How bad does she hurt? If she does wake up, how badly would she be hurting? It isn't about me.

The Polaroid. All I had left of my love, and it was bent at the edges from me holding it so hard. It was wrinkled from me putting it into my wallet, so whenever I opened it, I saw my sunshine. So I put it in the back. She was my sunshine. The thing that made me the happiest person on earth. Ever. And, now she's in fatal condition, and she didn't know how I felt.

I drove to the hospital. Even with the guys in the back, it was a silent ride. It wasn't comfortable, so I drove as fast as I could. I was told I had to see her, that she was showing signs of life. I didn't know if that was true, I think I'd have to say my last goodbyes to her.

If the last words she said to me were that she loves me, I wouldn't be able to cope.

If I hadn't called her, she wouldn't be here.

If I let her focus, she wouldn't be here.

If I wasn't such a damn idiot and let her drive, she wouldn't be here.

She wouldn't be dead.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Alive. They said she'd be alive. But, she wasn't. The machine, the worst sound in the world, took my sunshine. My love. She's gone.

She promised, that when she had a wedding, she'd promise to always look over her lover when she's gone, and into heaven. I hope she did that to me.

I put the ring next to her, silently crying. My voice was shot, I couldn't talk. I didn't have any tears left. I was empty, broken. I opened the box, slipping the ring onto her finger. I tapped the diamond, sniffling quietly. "Will you marry me?" I asked, looking up at the ceiling as if she was there. But, I knew she was. She was an angel. A perfect, beautiful angel. But, hell has to take away the best, most beautiful people.

"I love you," I said, almost trying to imagine her voice saying it bad. But, all I remembered was her voice cutting off, and those horrible sounds.

"Forever and always, angel." Now, when I said angel, I never thought it would be this early. I thought we'd get married, have kids, and live a long life.

If only I hadn't called her. She wouldn't be here.

If only I didn't call her, I wouldn't be in heaven with her as well.

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a/n: omg. what the fuck did i just write. 😭 it sucks, but the feels. i have an ethan imagine that will be written soon, so, hope you have a nice day. 💓