Dear Wafa...

Thirty Three

Dear Wafa,

Twenty years ago, at around 6 am on July 6, my father told me that you, my dearest friend, had passed way the night before. Going back home from your funeral on that rainy Wednesday, I thought that I wouldn't last a year without you. My thirteen-year-old self thought that losing you would be the death of me. But with each passing year, life taught me that grief does not always kill; that were it true, a lot of mankind would have simply perished.

Every year when I write to you, I feel like time has been flying and that it was only yesterday that I sat by your side, recounting every single detail of school that week so that you wouldn't miss out on anything when you come back. But life has ways of reminding me of the years in between. Like my kids growing older: my twins are already five and a half years old, and Inu is eleven and almost as tall as me. And of course, my body showing the tolls of time: aching limbs, a few gray hairs. And recently, your brother's wedding.

When your mother invited me to Ameen's wedding, she told me that I should come as your representative. Wallahi, Wafu, what an honour! To attend your brother's wedding as your best friend, twenty years later... I was quite emotional after that phone call.

While at the wedding, I was overcome by so many emotions. There was definitely the joy of meeting most of your family after a long time— I only get to meet your parents during my visits to your house or on Eid. Just the day before, I was thinking that I haven't been to Ruqba in so long, and when I met your grandmother at the wedding hall, she said the same thing. I would love to go there once more, in sha Allah. I saw Nada after a long time. I think that if you were here, you would be proud of how your little sister turned out. I also got to meet Faijuthatha and Yusra, and you know what Watu, she's already a graduate! Yusra was so small back then. I met your paternal cousins too: Shaja, Sheikha and Hanathatha, and I think Shaja's eldest daughter looks a bit like you (but then, I always saw bits of you in Shaja, so that's no surprise). And I was introduced to your new sister-in-law Maryam as your friend.

Yes, it was a joyous occasion, but I did tear up a bit in between. When I first greeted your mother at the venue with a hug, I was very emotional. After talking to Mummy and her invitation to Ruqba too. Then during the khutba when the dear ones of both families who are no longer with us were mentioned. I know it did not mean exclusively you but for me, it did. I made lots of dua for you then.

Dearest Wafa, at thirteen, I never thought I would lose you or that having lost you, I would survive somehow. I had no idea. And I had no idea, either, that even twenty years later, my eyes would still well up while talking about you. I hope our friendship has its forever in Jannah.

Love,
Nasoo.