Gracie Abrams is eking out a solitary existence, fighting day-in, day-out against the drain of working customer service and nursing two newborn kittens in her off time. Out on her own ever since her sister moved in with her boyfriend, the burden of...
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"My first boyfriend lasted three days," I said. His brows shot up, one and then the other. Man, if only I could shock him like that every time I opened my mouth, I don't think it would ever grow old... "We were at some camp for young leaders. I don't know. I was recommended by my teachers, and I don't think it was one of those 'opt out' situations. There was a boy in my group. Smiled a lot, talked with a smooth accent."
With a bravado I didn't actually feel, I met his gaze and held it. "My first penis was something of a surprise. Like, oh, we were watching a movie, and then it's out in the room with us. Not quite what I expected," I grimaced. "No offense."
"Why—" Kakashi started, then gave up with a weird slant to his face. "Why are you telling me this?"
"We're friends, aren't we?" I shrugged like it was nothing. "I felt like sharing, since I was thinking about it."
Kakashi was stuck on parrot mode, apparently. "You were...thinking about it. I don't see how that has anything to do with what we were talking about, though?" His every word was a question as if he was doubting his own ears at this point. Good. I think it was his turn to be off-kilter.
Who knew it would be so fun?
"Yeah." Gathering the strength to stand, I almost made it up without gripping the chair's arm. At the final push to stand, however, I got stuck and began to fall. Knowing Kakashi would catch me, my arms were already wrapped around his neck before he'd even steadied my hips. "I was just thinking about how that Gracie is so different from me."
Kakashi tensed. I could see the shift of the muscles in his jaw and neck. He held himself at an awkward distance, but there was something that kept him from pulling away.
I could put on an act all I wanted. I knew he could feel the slight tremble in my arms.
"How so?" he finally asked, but it came out low. An invisible wind pulled him closer, and I shifted nearer to the warm inferno I knew existed under his skin.
"She was so uninterested in everything, it feels dishonest now," I said, only half aware of what I was saying. "Like everything I used to think about myself is gone, and I've given in to something to make me look normal. If I was going to end up here, why'd I bother ever feeling the way I did? Turns out, there was nothing different about me at all. I really was just a late bloomer."
I knew he had no idea what I was talking about, but he couldn't escape this bubble. Neither of us could step away from the hypnotic cocoon we'd formed. A calm place, where two hearts beating worked as the only background music. There was space enough for two balls of fluff and nothing else.
My breath shuddered as I continued. "I guess I'm not that mature. I know it's wrong to think that way. There is no 'winning' against the world. It's so stupid."
"What's stupid?" Kakashi's brow lowered in one move, just like a shifted gear. His shoulders rounded toward me, and the cocoon began to close.
I tilted my head up at him, my fingers lost in the hairs at the back of his neck.
It's stupid to be ashamed of falling in love with a man after swearing I would never. That I'd never find anyone who could lower themselves to stand me. Who I could suffer with my presence.
But I didn't say any of that.
How do I get you to let me in? I tried to project this thought through my eyes, but I realized he had stopped looking at mine.
His eyes were snagged back on my cheek.
I scoffed, turning it away from him. Where were my rock trolls appearing out of the woodwork to give me a musical number? I could use a little backup here.
How was it that Frozen song lyrics could fit so many situations so well? Were we all brainwashed or had Disney truly created a masterpiece?
"Don't worry," I said, stepping to the side. The cocoon was imaginary, but I felt a little snick of snapping threads nonetheless. "We'll get you home soon." His hand stretched out as far as it could without him moving. Eventually, I left his supportive hold, hobbling on my own to the kitchen, where that white creature I thought I'd imagined lay on a dog bed, a king surveying his kingdom. "Your Majesty." I tipped my head a little, going in search of sustenance.
The counters were littered with stray crumbs from several different cereals. Forgotten toast lay inside a toaster, the crisp, burnt smell lingering in a faint memory.
Kakashi hovered out of my sight until I waved him over, a forced neutrality turning my tone into some kind of cheerleader's.
"You need to eat, too, you know? Get over here."
The man entered the kitchen, a room that was wider than my apartment's. There were fewer chances to run into other people with these open spaces. The dog, an elderly, grumpy looking thing, didn't seem very interested in us. An antisocial canine, huh? Guess they did exist.
Armed with cereal bowls, we ate in silence. The sound of chewing was not something I enjoyed, but given that this was the first time I'd eaten beside him in weeks, I found the efficient crunching something to smile about. Luckily, I could hide that stupid thing beneath the spoon.
I really loved this guy.
Strangely, it wasn't giddiness that filled my limbs. Being around Kakashi made me giddy enough.
Tenna's words from her last phone call wove through my head. "But I know if you decide to start fighting for yourself, there's nothing you can't do."
I'd thought her words misplaced. She didn't understand what I was fighting for. It wasn't about me.
But now there was a portal taking over the sky, the government might just decide to kill us all, and the end of days loomed near.
It would be easier if I just asked him to kiss me. I knew he would. I knew that much, at least. Whatever was inside my heart, at least some of it was mirrored inside of his.
But that wouldn't be right. He had kept far too many secrets. And our relationship had been unbalanced from the beginning.
If I was serious, really serious, there was no other option but to test the water.
Kakashi had to come to me on his own, no manipulation. No glossing over how we'd gotten here.
"You need to take these meds," Kakashi said gruffly, holding out two orange pill bottles. "Every twelve hours. The other one is for pain, every four as needed." When I nodded, he continued, "You should put your leg up again. It's been nearly twenty minutes."
"Do the TVs still work?"
"I think so. Why?"
I didn't grab his skin this time. No manipulation means no unexpected skin encounters. But I did grab his sleeve. My cheeks heated for some stupid reason. He really was far too handsome. Curse the hot sensei trope transcending space and time to create this guy.
"Do you wanna watch Frozen with me?"
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