Shadow Of The Past (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty Three- "I'll tell him."

I sat down quietly in the dull, shiny room, each second passing feeling like an hours as I waited. I looked around at the various females sat around the large waiting area, the little kids making me feel uncomfortable as they stared at me, as if to say that giving up a child was the biggest mistake.

“Ms Parker.” A middle aged nurse smiled, calling my name out loudly, her dark hair moving along with her with every step she made. “This way please.” She spoke, leading me through a long corridor; The unnatural models of the reproductive system glued against the walls freaking me out about my pregnancy; I was having a baby. 

I sat down in a plain, white chair in front of a large brown desk where an old man was seated. His arms resting against the desk, his boldness of his grey covered haired head reflecting the harsh rays of the sun shinning through the half open window. 

“Ashley.” He spoke. “I understand it’s not easy finding out your pregnant at your age. How are you doing?” 

“Not well,” I confirmed. “Just thinking that theres a child inside of me scares me. This baby is my child.” 

“Ashley..” 

“I barely know how to raise and take care of my own-self. If I don’t even know how to take care of myself how am I supposed to take care of someone else and help them grow, and understand everything to do with life?”I glared back at the doctor, He didn’t understand what I was going through. I’m a single teenager who has fell pregnant by the one guy who she can never be with. He would never know anything to do with me and this baby and nor would he ever understand; I couldn’t even process all this crap, I didn’t want a child; Not yet, anyways. 

“I know it’s difficult to process, but you just need some time to think; You can take some parenting classes and I assure you that you’ll be fine-”

“No,” I interrupted him, shaking my head. “I don’t want it.” 

“You need to think about this.”

“I’m the one thats pregnant and I’ve made up my mind. I can’t have this child.” 

“If you don’t want this child then why aren't you giving them up for adoption then? You need to at least think about that.” He didn’t understand. 

“No.” I spat. “I’m sorry for being rude, but I’m positive about this.” 

“How can you be so positive ma’am? What if you change your mind later?”

“I know what it feels like to have a father that doesn’t want to see you, It hurts.” I sighed, “I don’t want this kid growing up their whole lives thinking both their mum and dad hated them. I’d rather get rid of child now then let them grow up without a real smile on their faces when they find out their adopted.” 

“Are you positive about this, Ashley?” 

“Yes.” I quietly mumbled. “I’m sure.” 

“Well, you need to fill this out and hand it to me within two weeks if you still want to go through with this.” 

 My head looked down, towards the white vibrating iPhone that was held in my hands... 

‘I heard about it. Come over, You know I’m here for you. I Know it’s Harry’s. 

We need to talk about this... -Louis’ 

Shit. 

~

By body sunk in the dark couch at Louis’ house, the white walls staring at me. I sat motionless staring at my dull surrounding. I looked over at Louis, smiling before grabbing the warm mug of coffee he handed me, clutching it tighter, allowing the warmth to sink in.

“Ash,” He spoke. trying to get my attention. “You can’t ignore me about this. It’s serious.” 

“I..” I trailed off unable to find the right words to freely express my emotions. 

“We need to discuss this.”

“Theres nothing to discuss.” I spat. “I know what I’m doing.” 

“You’re eighteen, single and pregnant. I doubt you know what you’re doing.” 

“I do.”

“I’m almost twenty-four and I can’t figure out shit; I’m just trying to help you, Ashley.” 

“You’re meant to be Harry’s friend, not mine.” 

“Well I am your friend and me helping you helps Harry as well, It’s kind of a two way street.” He chuckled lightly. “Look, Ash, I’m here for you, and you need to know that - I want to help you out.” I watched Louis as he stood up, moving towards me, taking a seat beside of the me on the couch making himself at home. He moved closer to me, his bare hand sitting on my bent knee. “Please, let me help.” 

“I..” Louis stared at me, the look in his eyes - He cared. I felt my tears pour down against my cheeks, the crying becoming a constant flow as Louis pulled me closer, wrapping me in his warm arms. 

“When are you telling Harry about the kid?” 

“Wait.” I interrupted. “How do you even know about the pregnancy?”

“I saw your friend Mikaela...” 

“Oh.” 

“So,” He continued with his question. “When are you giving him the news?” 

“I’m not.” I replied coldly. “I don’t need him to know about this kid. It’s not even his.”

“I’ll pretend like I believe that last bit.” He chuckled. “You have to tell him.” 

“No.” 

“If I got a girl pregnant I would want to know, I don’t want to wait to find out the kids grown up and that it’s mine.”

“The kid isn’t going to ‘grow up,”” I cried. “I have to get rid of it.” 

“Why the hell would you do that?” 

“Cause, Greg.. .He..”

“Screw Greg!” Louis shouted as I backed away from his shoulder. “You have to tell him, don’t let some idiot stand in the way of this, Ashley.” 

I looked down playing with the handle of the mug. He was right. I didn’t want to risk it though, Harry would get hurt. I wasn’t doing this to protect myself, I was doing it for Harry. I knew this wasn’t the best choice, but if not then I would have to see the one man I truly love get hurt. 

“He’ll get hurt.” I cried quietly. 

“You’re hurting him more then anyone ever could.” 

“But...” 

“Look, I’m sorry for being so rude, but he has to know.” 

“I hurt him. You said it.” I cried. “I don’t want to hurt him anymore then I already did. He’s gone.” 

“He would be there for you,” He promised. “I know he would.” 

“What if he doesn’t want it? It could wreck his life.”

“It could also make him the proudest man alive when he walks around holding his child's hand in a few years.. You don’t know what he wants. He needs to have a say in this.” 

“I don’t want it.” I lied. “I’m the mother.” 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “But, you still need to tell him. If you don’t then I will.” 

“No.” I screamed. “I need to.” 

“If you don’t tell him Ashley, then I promise you that I will sooner or later. You can’t keep this from him.”

Shitty chapter, sorry. I'll update tomorrow/tonight again since I feel bad I havn'y been updating. Please keep reading/voting and sharing. It honestly means so much to me! Thaanks for reading you beautiful people! xx