MUTE [A Chris Colfer Imagine]

Mute 13/?

My first therapy session was the next day and it was the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life. Her name was Louise and she was a kind person, she had even given me a laptop so that I could type to her. She started asking questions about me, and wanting to get to know me more before she moved onto other subjects. She wanted me to talk about the attack, so I did - I didn't realise it would leave me exhausted and drained though. I opened up to her like I promised Chris though, and I told her about the nightmare I had last night and that I was scared that I was going to have more nightmares.

She was so understanding and the first time in ages, I felt as if I was understood and I could feel myself relaxing more around her.
By the end of my first session, I was lots more relaxed but I was so exhausted and drained that I just wanted to go home and sleep forever.
I made an appointment again with her for next week, and I knew that next week would be even harder to get through, but I was ready and prepared or it, I was determined.

I walked out of Louise's office and straight into Chris' arms tucking myself into his neck. He kissed the side of my head and held me close.

---

I had a date with Chris tonight, since he was going back home in 4 days, we wanted to spend some time on our own together as we hadn't really spent any time together because of what happened. He said he had a few things to sort out, so whilst he was doing that. I decided that I would go to Liam's if he wasn't gonna come to me. I needed to know what was going on with him and so after I made sure I had everything, whiteboard included - Chris drove me over to Liam's house and left me with a passionate kiss on the lips. "Text me when you're ready to come home baby, and don't forget to take your pain meds if your arm starts aching."

I walked up to the door and knocked, it was a few minutes before Liam answered and his eyes widened when he saw me standing there.

I simply waved to him, it was hard to write when I was standing up and didn't have anything to lean on. He opened his arms and I ran into them hugging him tightly but also trying to be careful of my injured arm. "Hey.." He whispered.

He closed the door behind us and we went into the kitchen. I took a seat across from him and my heart hurt seeing all the sadness in his face.

'DON'T FEEL GUILTY' I wrote down before pushing the whiteboard over to him.

"I'm not." He mumbled but when I raised my eyebrow at him, it all came flooding out.

He explained how he was mad at himself that he didn't do anything to stop this, that he didn't go to the teachers and tell them how bad the bullying was getting. He told me about how he found me lying on the ground passed out and how everybody had just left you there.

He continued explaining to me and I vowed to myself from then on, that I would look out for Liam more and make sure he never felt guilty for something he never ever did.

---

I was looking forward to going on my date with Chris. I was supposed to spend the weekend at his, but what with the attack, I couldn't. It had been a few weeks since I last saw Chris, and him just being here made me realise that I missed him so much. I had sent off my application for the internship in the same city Chris lived in, and I so hoped that I would hear back from them soon.. I hated being away from him for so long. I missed him.

'SO WHERE ARE WE GOING?' Chris looked at my whiteboard and chuckled.

It was about the 6th time I had asked him and he refused to tell me every single time. I was glad he wasn't telling me though, I was looking forward to being surprised.

---

Nearly an hour later, and Chris parked up by the beach. He put a blindfold on me, and started guiding me to where he wanted to go - and another 5 minute walk and we was there.

Chris took the blindfold off me, and my eyes widened when I saw what he had done for me. Nobody else was on the beach, and the stairs leading down to the sand, had fairy lights wrapped around them which lit up the beach - and then I finally saw a picnic set out with on a red blanket and soft music playing.

I turned to look at Chris with tears in my eyes and wrapped my arm around his shoulder kissing his cheek. He beamed and took my hand, helping me sit down before taking a seat across from me. We sat there for a while just Chris holding my hand and me staring into his eyes. I knew right then and there that I loved him, and I wanted to tell him but I needed to say it with words, and right now that just wasn't something that I could do but I made a promise to myself and to Chris that I would do all I could to make sure mine and Chris' relationship survived.