MUTE [A Chris Colfer Imagine]

Mute 15/?

My next therapy session is when things started getting deeper. Louise asked me questions, and I wrote down all of my answers for her on a word document, explaining to her when and why I stopped talking. I told her all about the bullying at school, and she listened carefully.

"I think you're scared." She stated leaning forward and talking to you softly. "You've been bullied all of your life, and you've closed yourself off from the world. You may have people who you care about and who care about you now, but you're scared to let yourself be taken care of and you're scared to talk."

'HOW CAN I NOT BE SCARED?' I typed on the laptop. 'I WANT A NEW START AND I WANT TO START TALKING BUT I JUST CAN'T.'

"I think you'll talk when the right time comes," She told me. "I also know from just two sessions with you, that you're strong and you have the courage to do this." I understood what she meant, because I was still to scared to let anybody in on EVERYTHING. "You've told me your plans of getting out of this city, I think that may be the start of you progressing."

Hearing this made me quite excited, maybe she was right and maybe all I needed was a fresh start out of this city and away from the people who have made my life a living hell.

---

A few more days went by and the stress of everything was starting to get to me. I was studying hard for the final parts of my exams, the nightmares hasn't stopped and I was constantly tired and I was still being bullied at school, but I refused to give up. Knowing that I would be graduating in the next few weeks was the only thing keeping me sane.

It was after a long day at school that I had fallen asleep on the couch in Chris' arms. After nightmares the other night, Chris had made a call to his manager explaining that he was staying for at least another week, and we was spending so much time together. I woke up around 8pm after about 4 hours sleep and saw that I had a voicemail message, a missed call and a text message. The message was from Chris explaining that he was going out to get us dinner since my dad was at his AA meeting tonight and wouldn't be home for dinner. I decided to listen to my voicemail but it was such a bad idea. It was from the internship I applied for explaining that they had tried to call me but couldn't get through, they explained that they would call tomorrow at 2pm for a phone interview and they were looking forward to talking to and interviewing me.

I ended the call and sat there in silence. I was shocked to even hear back from them but when I sent the email, I specifically requested that they emailed me back rather than call.

In a fit of anger I threw my phone against the wall before punching the closest thing near me which was the coffee table. I could feel the pain in my knuckles but ignored it as I collapsed back onto the sofa and started silently sobbing.

I didn't know how long I stayed there, but I felt Chris climb back onto the sofa and spoon me from behind. He wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly. "I don't know what happened while I went out, but whatever it is, I'm hear for you and I always will be."
I didn't answer him, just cuddled in closer wondering why everything was starting to fall apart just as it was getting better.

I explained to Chris later that night in writing what had happened, and he promised that he would sort something out. I believed him, but nothing could prepare either of us for what we woke up to the next morning.

---

Chris stayed in my bed again that night, and we both woke up that morning to Chris' phone ringing none stop. Once he finally answered it, I could tell it was a bad call as all the colour drained from Chris' face. I sat there and waited patiently while he spoke to whoever it was on the phone and waited until he put his phone down. He didn't even look my way as he picked his laptop from the side of my bed and turned it on. I sat there and waited whilst he did what he had to do and watched worriedly as he typed rapidly into the laptop. I thought it was weird that he was searching his name on Google, but I understood why he was shaking now.

Because all over the Internet, were articles about the argument that happened at my school between Chris and Jade. Somebody had obviously sold stories to the newspapers and it was quite obvious who it was also. I was fuming. All the mean words that were being used towards Chris. People were now calling him fake, saying that he's showing his true personality. He didn't even look at me.

'DON'T WORRY IT'S FAKE' I typed onto a new word document so that he could see.

"Don't you think I know that!" He snapped at me. I was hurt and it must have showed on my face because Chris' face softened and he took my hand in his. "I'm sorry," He sighed kissing my cheek. "It's just that now all this is starting, things are just gonna get harder and the press are making it out like I'm a bad person towards my fans but I'm really not.

I knew he wasn't bad to his fans. He was the most kindest person I knew and I didn't know where I would be without him. He was my rock.

'YOU'RE THE MOST SELFLESS MAN I KNOW AND IT'S OBVIOUS JADE JUST WANTED TO GET HER OWN BACK ON US.'

"Us? You mean me." He muttered.
'WHAT?' I typed and shoved the laptop towards him. I thought that we was in this together but obviously Chris had other ideas.

"Look, you just don't understand [Y/N].." Chris sighed. He moved off the bed and started pacing. "I'm the one who has to deal with the backlash, I'm the one who's gonna have to deal with all the paparazzi and I'm the one who's gonna have to fix this. Not you because you're not involved in this."

I grabbed the laptop harshly and typed furiously. 'IT WAS BECAUSE OF ME THAT THIS HAPPENED SO IT IS TO DO WITH ME TOO.'

Chris looked and rolled his eyes. "It was because of you, and now because of you, I've got to deal with all this bullshit."

'I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU CHRIS. I'M GOING TO LIAM'S AND YOU NEED TO COOL DOWN.' I shoved the laptop at him and stood up to get ready.

I grabbed my clothes and went to walk out the room but stopped at Chris' words. "Go on run like you always do when things get tough!" I turned and looked at him in shock not quite believing what I just heard and he seemed just as shocked as I did that he said it. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that-" I didn't let him finish before I was storming out of my bedroom to get ready. 20 minutes later and I left the house with tears down my face wondering why Chris was being so mean to me all of a sudden.

---

I got home later that day just wishing that Chris had calmed down so we could actually figure out what to do. I was in this with him and I was prepared to stick by him through this.

But when I walked upstairs to my bedroom, all of Chris' belongings had gone and there was no traces that Chris had ever been there. All that was left, was a note sitting on my bedside table saying: I'M SORRY BUT I THINK WE NEED SOME SPACE.