If I Can't Have You || (N.M.)

Chapter 10

"Got your napkins," I smiled at Nate upon my return to the picnic table. He was helping Miracle with her animal crackers while the other three guys had already begun to engage in a different conversation about football or some shit.

He thanked me, then as I took my seat next to him, I whispered in his ear.

"I saw a gun in your car, where did it come from?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat then took a sip of his drink before whispering back to me, "Can we talk about this later?"

"No," I pressed, "I need to know why you possess a murder weapon."

The guys weren't paying any attention to us so Nate sighed then went ahead and gave me my explanation.

"I bought it off this guy I know during my lunch break," he confessed.

My eyes widened and I had to restrain myself to keep from yelling at him. I checked to see that the men were still talking amongst themselves before I spoke again.

"What kind of parent brings their daughter with them to pick up a gun?"

"Hey," Nate snapped unexpectedly, "don't question my parenting. She didn't see a thing, okay!"

His sudden attitude change had caught me off guard and I didn't know howto respond. I was just going to let the conversation end there but then I heard Nate talking to me again.

"Look, I didn't mean to go off like that," he apologized, "but I got it to protect us. I told you we're going to fight this."

"By killing?"

That wasn't the kind of fight I wanted to be involved in. I wouldn't be able to deal with that blood on my hands, not even if it belonged to the person who was out to get me.

But Nate was willing. I could see it in his eyes. He was ready to go to war for the ones he loved.

"If that's what I have to do," he said, "then that's what I'll do."

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That night we stayed at another motel, even farther out. Since it was on the outskirts of the city with not much else surrounding, it was even shabbier than the last. Cobwebs and dust covered every corner and table top.

"Who died here?" I asked rhetorically.

Nate was busy shaking off the covers so that we could go to sleep and not have bugs crawling all over us. Once he had it together, I laid Miracle down on the bed then grabbed my light green tote bag that had one more outfit inside.

"I'm gonna have to go back home and pick up some more clothes," I said,just thinking out loud.

"I'll take you after work tomorrow," Nate offered.

I nodded then grabbed a towel and went to go take a much needed shower. Even though we were no longer at the shop, I could still feel the grime all over my skin. I was looking forward to the relaxing sensation of hot water and steam filling the room, but was disappointed when I turned the water on and felt the freezing cold droplets hit my back. Goose bumps rose across every inch of my body. I tried to clean myself as fast as possible so that I could be warm once again.

Once that was all done, I quickly turned off the water and started to dry myself off. I was working on my legs when I got distracted by the full length mirror that hung on the door in front of me. I started to examine myself for the first time in a long while. My curls were frizzing up and dark circles were beginning to plague the skin underneath me eyes. I'd never experienced many skin problems, but now I had stress bumps starting to pop up all on my forehead. I was definitely not looking my best, and all this strain on me was to blame. I needed a break, but I knew that I wouldn't be getting one until Calvin was taken care of. He was ruining my life and I was starting to think that maybe Nate having a gun wasn't such a bad idea.