If I Can't Have You || (N.M.)

Chapter 12

"There's no way in hell you're trying to help me," I accused with the gun still in my hand, "stay back you liar!" 

Joe's breathing was starting to get steadier. Though he was still a little hunched over, the shadows falling onto his figure from the moon still made him look intimidating. "Look, we both know that you wouldn't actually shoot me. So why don't you just put the gun down so that we can talk?" 

He was right. I didn't even know how to shoot properly. 

Slowly, I lowered the gun, but I still kept my guard up.

"Fine. What is it that you want to talk about? How can you help me?"

Joe looked around before opening his mouth to speak, as if he knew someone might be listening. Then he whispered to me, "I know who C is." 

"Bullshit," I said quickly, "earlier you said-"

"I know what I said but that was only because he was near!" 

I stood there in silence, still unsure of what to believe. Joe continued speaking.

"That Calvin is a fucking lunatic, I couldn't risk him overhearing me," he went on. "We had our own little run in years ago. I had a bit of a drug problem and I'd take it out on my ex-wife. I ain't proud of it, but that's what happened. Ol' guy Cal met her while she was out one day, they had themselves an affair but once I got clean and she wanted to give me a second chance, he wouldn't let her. He started stalking our family, broke into our house, even hired people to follow us around. I had to leave her and my son behind in New Mexico while they went into hiding just so I could keep them safe. My name isn't even really Joe." 

I leaned up against a car parked next to me just so I could digest what I'd just been told. If Joe was telling the truth, Cal wasn't going to stop until me, Nate, and Mir were torn apart. Until one of us had to change our name and move out of the fucking state. 

"This is insane," I said to myself, beginning to hyperventilate. "I can't lose Nate and Miracle, I can't"

"Which is why I'm going to help you," Joe told me, trying to make his gruff voice sound soft and nurturing. 

"How are you going to help me, you couldn't even help yourself!" I said to him out of anger and frustration. 

"I couldn't help myself because I didn't have someone like me who knew how to escape, alright! Now take this paper and follow the instructions exactly!"

Joe took my hand forcefully and stuffed a balled up piece of paper into my fist. 

"Exactly," he repeated once more before looking around one last time and then slowly disappearing back into the darkness. 

By now I was terrified and shaking. All I wanted was to go back to the motel room and feel safe in Nate's arms for a little while. 

I made my way back to where he was sleeping, my breath still uneven and dried up tears on my cheeks. When I walked into the room he had Mir in his arms, the both of them resting peacefully. I carefully crawled into bed next to him, not wanting to wake him up from his much-needed sleep. I nuzzled my face into his bare back and with one more swipe of my face, I dozed off...

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"Cassandra what the fuck!"

That was what woke me from my sleep and make me sit upright in bed almost instantly.

"What? What happened?" I asked groggily, still only half-aware of my surroundings. 

"You came in here and fell asleep! No one was keeping watch, what if something would have happened?!" Nate was pacing the floor and yelling at me. 

I wiped my eyes, forcing myself to become alert enough to explain to Nate what had happened last night.

"Nate, please calm down I-"

"Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down right now, you're so irresponsible!"

Now I was offended. "Hey, knock it off will you! I have something I need to show you."

I grabbed the note from last night and handed it over to Nate as I started to tell the story.

"Joe showed up last night, I thought he was trying to hurt me but he wasn't. He knows Calvin. Cal was after him and his family too. They got split apart but he told me he knows how we can keep it from happening to us."

It looked like Nate was barely listening to me as he seemed to be reading the note and over and over again with a confused look on his face.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?"

I hadn't read the note when Joe gave it to me because I wanted to Nate to be awake to read it too. I approached him so that I could look over his shoulder and see what he what the confusion was all about.

The note only had two sentence on it:

Go to Foley's Liquor Store. Ask for a pack of cigarillos and a bucket of hot wings. 

"Wait no," I whispered to myself as I took the note from Nate and turned it around, looking for something else. Something that could actually help us. "This can't be all there is, there has to be more. This doesn't make any sense!"

"Great, thanks for nothing Cassandra!" Nate said, tossing his hands into the air before plopping down on the bed, annoyed. 

"No, Nate don't say that! Maybe... Maybe it's some secret code, huh? Maybe that's it! We have to try!" I was so jittery and desperate for even the slightest chance.

"Try what?" Nate rolled his eyes, "to see who can eat the most  wings? It's no use Cassandra, he screwed you over! Shit, as far as we know he's probably on Cal's side."

"We won't know that unless we go and see for ourselves!"

"No, it's stupid!"

"Well can you think of a better idea?" I challenged. 

Nate was silent and I took it as a victory. Mir stirred in bed.

"You should get her ready," I told him, "we'll be leaving soon."

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hey guys, i'm not dead lol. it's summer break again and i don't have shit to do so i thought i'd go ahead and come back to this. i have another story up too with gilinsky in it. you can go ahead and check it out if you want. i already have quite a few chapter of it written on my laptop so i'll be updating that one more often than this right now. peace!