If I Can't Have You || (N.M.)

Chapter 8

The wait for Nate to return felt like hours. I wanted so badly to go and check if he was okay, but I had to stay with Miracle and make sure that she stayed safe. That was the least I owed to him.

So I stood in the parking lot with Mir half asleep on my shoulder. "Daddy?" she mumbled tiredly, with a thumb in her mouth.

"Daddy will be right back," I told her.

I hoped he would be right back.

After a stressful stretch of time, I saw Nate walk back out of the door all in one piece and I could breathe again.

"Thank God," I whispered under my breath before rushing up to him.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

As I neared him, I could see that his expression looked grave, making me question my relief.

"W-what's wrong?"

Nate stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed before coming forth and saying what he clearly wished he didn't have to. "There's something you should see."

He placed his hand at the small of my back then slowly lead me inside. At first everything looked normal and I wondered what the hell he was so worked up about, but then I saw it.

We walked to over to the hall and I had to cover my mouth to keep from making any noise that would awake Miracle. That didn't stop my tears.

Every last painting, brush, and color that I had organized in the hall closet was ruined. Cal had destroyed it all. Colors were mixed together, staining both the carpet and walls. Pieces that had taken me months to complete had holes torn right through them. My brushes that I cleaned and held onto with care were snapped in half and strewn carelessly all over the place. He hit me right where he knew it would hurt the most - he came for what he knew I was most passionate about.

Nate had to take Miracle from me, because I could no longer stand up straight hold her.

I kneeled down and tried to pick up the pieces, even though I knew it was a lost cause.

"How could he do something like this?" My voice cracked when I spoke. Painting was how I payed my bills and how I kept going when it started to feel like life had no purpose. I had told him that, and he used my confidence in him to his advantage. Manipulation at its worst. "I can't believe this."

Nate laid Miracle down on the couch then kneeled down beside me and held me while I cried in his arms. "It's okay," he kept telling me, "everything is going to be alright."

No matter how many times he said it, I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. I was no longer safe in my own home.

"He ruined everything," I cried.

"We'll figure something out Sandra," Nate promised, "if the police won't help us we'll figure this out ourselves."

I released myself from his grip so I could look him in his face. I just couldn't keep myself from asking anymore.

"Why do you want to help me so bad?" I questioned, "This isn't your problem. You can leave at any time, you don't have to be here."

I expected one of Nate's notorious one word answered, but instead his full-length response came rushing out like a waterfall, jumbled and fast. "Yes, but I want to be here. I wasn't here for an entire year and it was the hardest year of my life. I came to you with Miracle not just because you were the only one I could depend on, but because I needed to see you. Then you were with that guy and I thought I would have to win you back from him, but it turns out I have to protect you from him. I don't know how much you trust me after all I put you through, but please just let me help you."