(Unedited)
I quickly turned my head to look at Chris, then Vern. Was that a dream? Then I thought more, although it seemed like years in the dream... It also didn't. I only remember big parts, like parts you would put in a story.
What am I even saying? I'm confusing myself... Try to forget about it. Try. I'm not the best at trying though.
•••••••
Almost everything went exactly how it did in my dream. Or maybe it was déjà vu. Before I knew it we were by the back Harlow road. Chris asked me multiple times of I was sick or okay, I guess I was acting strange. But you can't blame me.
•••••••
When gordie started crying I knew maybe I could change what would happen, maybe I could prevent the Cobras from finding us.
"Well won't you look at this." I heard ace say from the distance. I was too late.
I panicked and stood still, what if this ends differently, what if Ace instead stabs Chris, what if Gordie doesn't get the gun?
Eyeball wouldn't let that happen right?... But that was a dream, and eyeball was an asshole. He wasn't a brotherly figure... I wish I could close my eyes at this moment and have everything the way it was.
Because that's when eyeball was a brother.
"Cmon ace." Eyeball said. Ace was slowly walking towards ace.
"Stop!" I yelled, and froze in place.
"What did you just say?" Ace asked turning to me.
"You're insane if you're going to kill someone to get on TV." I said, who cares if he gets mad, he will get thrown in prison if he kills one of us.
"Say it again I dare you." Ace stated.
"You can't kill any of us it's insane." I snapped back, I don't know what I was doing honestly,
"Are you calling me crazy?" He asked.
"If you kill me you'll get thrown in prison for good, what do you think the cops will think when you get on TV and there are two dead body's instead of one and a bloody switch blade?" I asked.
"I can hide your body wise one." He said walking over to me.
"Eyeball you aren't going to do anything about this?" I weakly said, ace grabbing my wrist. I felt tears forming in my eyes, I was scared out of my mind I felt the chills through out my body, my head was pounding and I wanted to break down right then and there.
Please don't kill me.
Stay where you are, you aren't weak
I waited for the gunshot to go off, but it wasn't and this was all going on. The tears wouldn't stop running down my cheeks.
BANG! Everyone turned to the direction of Chris, he was holding the gun and Gordie was standing right next to him. Ace let go and crossed his arms rolling his eyes at the two boys.
I fell down to the ground and scooted back against a log wiping away the tears and rubbing my hands up and down my arms trying to calm down.
My head stopped pounding but I was still scared. My life was almost taken away from me.
"We won't forget this if that's what you're thinking, this is big time baby." He said walking off with everyone.
Chris instantly ran up to me and kneeled down next to me. "I can't believe you did that!" He said, "are you okay?" He asked.
I just shook my head, if course not. I woke up from a dream where my parents died and my brother came home. But my parents are alive I'm afraid they will die again and my brother will most likely never come back.
My brother could be dead for all I know. I shouldn't think like that but I can't help it, I'm losing hope.
I wrapped my arms around Chris and cried Into his shoulders. I ruined this whole thing, I know Gordie said it wasn't a party but at least it wasn't a job or something serious, we started this as something fun and now I'm making it sad. I wanted to cry more, but that would make things worse, so I wiped my tears and soon enough we headed home.
I told them to make an anonymous call, it worked out in the dream so it must work out now. When we got back to town so much had happened I felt as if I wasn't the same.
The next few days when my parents got home, I walked there and saw their car in the drive way. I knew that once I got in there I would break down. Almost as if I hadn't seen them in forever and it felt like I lived through their death.
I didn't want to break down and look crazy so I hugged them both tightly and ran upstairs to my room so I could fall asleep and dream of a perfect world.
Perhaps a world where eyeball was caring, where my brother came home, where I felt less scared and more care free.
Reality is far from perfect, you can make it beautiful but never perfect. But when you close your eyes and your head hits the pillow. That's where you can dream your perfect world and live a second life with no cares.
Don't ever forget your perfect world, sometimes it's what keeps you sane. If you are ever unhappy and you break down. Remember that at the end of night your perfect world is waiting for you, it's there to calm you down, make you feel better.
If you can't find your perfect world yet, don't give up, they can be hard to find.But they are there I promise. Don't give up on yourself, don't give up on your dream. It's there it will always be there.
I have many dreams and each one has a different meaning. Each one makes me feel a different kind of happy. A different kind of love, and if I always remember then I stay happy.
If I ever forgot them that would be okay, because they where once there and that's all that matters.
That they where once there.
A/N: I am so sorry that took so long to update! I haven't had the best of times lately and school is starting. Also sorry this chapter sucks it's kind of a filler chapter and with everything going on I wanted to find a way to write my feelings but not ruin the book. Also some people have commented and messaged me saying you are confused because of the last chapter, if you are still confused, when Jen fell asleep at night while going to see a dead body the rest of the story leading up to that moment was a dream.
Also happy birthday River Phoenix💘 it's been 22 years since you died but it still feels like you are here with us.
I love you guys and I will try and update again sooner next time! ❤️
