The Art of Reconstruction (Andley)

5: Ghosts Aren't Real

"Andy, get up!"  Juliet's voice in my ear jolted me out of my dreams.  I shot up into a sitting position, hit my head on the bunk above me, flailed around a bit, and then fell out of the bunk, tangled up in the sheets.  Juliet looked down at me amusedly and I glared back at her.  "You scared the hell out of me," I complained. 

"Don't be such a wimp, babe," she said.  "Come on, we're going to go get breakfast."  I sighed and got up, kicking the sheets away from me.  "Fine," I breathed.  "Give me two minutes."  I got myself dressed before getting out of the bus.  Juliet and the guys were all standing there waiting for me.

"It's about time," Jake grumbled.  "You actually managed to sleep longer than CC." I shrugged noncommittally.  I had been up late thinking about what Ashley had said to me.  His words had thrust me into a state of confusion.  Did I really run from my problems?  Was it all my fault that Vic and I didn't talk anymore?  No, we were both at fault there, weren't we?  It had been too difficult to talk to each other after Kellin was gone.  Every time we saw each other it was just another reminder that kept our wounds raw.  I'd thought it was better if we just cut all ties and moved along.  

I pushed those thoughts from my head since I knew they were toxic and would only bring me harm.  "Alright," I sighed.  "Where are we going for breakfast?" 

"We were just going to walk around until we found something," Jinxx said. "They aren't giving us food until the actual first date for warped, so we're on our own today as far as food goes."

"Okay," I said. "That shouldn't be too hard since we're in the middle of nowhere." I was being slightly sarcastic there, but I was right. We were just outside of a really small town in the middle of the desert and I didn't even know whether or not there would even be a place to go to breakfast.  "Yeah, we probably should've brought food with us, but fuck that," CC said.  "I'm in the mood for greasy diner food."

We started on our way, weaving between the various tour buses that were parked in the lot. I hung behind the group, lacing my fingers with Juliet's. We'd gotten so used to doing it in public that it just felt like a natural thing. I didn't mind it, but it didn't bring the same joy that I'd gotten when Ashley would hold my hand. Juliet and I only did it because we had to, not because we wanted to show affection.

I saw Ashley's eyes flit down to mine and Juliet's hands, but I ignored it. He knew it wasn't real and in all reality I was kind of surprised that Ash hadn't outed me.  I was kind of an asshole to him, yet he was nice to me most of the time.  I didn't really get it.  I probably deserved his hatred, but I never received it.

Ash looked away from us and I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding in.  Any time Ashley looked at me I ended up getting all flustered and chills would run down my spine.  The breath would abandon my lungs, leaving me feeling like I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me in the best kind of way.  No one else ever made me feel that way, not my boyfriends before Ash and certainly not the drunken one night stands I'd had after him.  It was like comparing the feeling you get on a roller coaster to the feeling you get on a children's carnival ride. The two just couldn't equate. I sighed and tried not to dwell on that sort of thing. It only made me feel worse than I already did.

I ran my free hand through my hair, pushing it back off my face.  The sun was obnoxiously hot that day and it beat down relentlessly as we meandered through the dusty, little town.  Everything seemed to be coated in a fine layer of dirt, causing the buildings to look faded and worn out. There were even little tumbleweeds rolling across the ground. I hadn't even known that tumbleweeds were an actual thing.

"Well, this is one sorry ass town," CC commented, looking around. 

"Seriously," Jake muttered.  The streets were empty, but I could see people peering at us through shop windows or through blinds.  Who could blame them?   We were a sight to see, especially in a town like this which seemed to be lacking in exciting or unusual people and I think that's the category we fell into.  We were rock stars, dressed in black like we were heading to a funeral - a very grunge funeral.