The Art of Reconstruction (Andley)

10: You're not real. Am I?

"This isn't real," Vic muttered, his eyes wide.  "It's not real."  Kellin stepped forward and reached out to touch him, but Vic shrank away.  Kellin's hand fell slowly back to his side.  "It's real," he murmured.  "I'm real."

"No.  You're not real.  You're dead.  I'm losing my mind," Vic mumbled. "You're dead.  I watched you die."   The misery and torment on his face broke my heart. I'd almost thought that seeing Kellin would make him happy, but it seemed to do the opposite.

"I know you did and I am dead, Vic," Kellin said quietly.  "I'm a-well, I'm a ghost.  I know it sounds fake, but it's true.  I was just as surprised when it happened as you are now."   Vic turned to look at me, a wild look in his eyes. His whole body seemed to be shaking with shock or fear.  "Andy, what the hell is happening? Am I losing my mind? I see him. I see Kellin," he choked out.

"I know you do," I said softly, reaching out and putting my hands on his shoulders. "I see him too. Just calm down." Vic was taking this a bit differently than I had. Somehow I had managed to remain fairly calm when I saw Kellin for the first time, but Vic was freaking out. My eyes flickered over to Kellin and I silently urged him to come closer. He did, moving slowly like one might if they were approaching a feral cat.

"Here," I said, turning him toward Kellin and taking one of his hands in mine. "Look." I guided his hand forward to touch Kellin's arm. Vic flinched away at first, but then the terror and panic on his face melted away into wonderment. I let go of him and he touched Kellin on his own, running his fingers down his arm. "But-but," Vic stuttered. "Are you really here?"

"Yeah," Kellin said. "I'm here." Vic brought his hand up to cup Kellin's cheek, staring into his eyes. I felt as though I was intruding on an intimate moment, so I took a couple steps back to watch from afar.  Vic engulfed Kellin in a hug, holding him tightly as if he were afraid that he would disappear if his grip slackened.   "I-I don't understand," Vic said hoarsely when he pulled back. 

"To be honest I don't either," Kellin replied.  "Come sit down and Andy and I will explain."  Vic sat down on the edge of the bed, Kellin and I doing the same. "Okay," Vic said shakily. "Tell me everything." Then, Kellin launched into his story, telling Vic about everything from Oli to Madam Sili and her weird summoning ritual.   At the end of it all, Vic turned to me, his eyes narrowed.  "You knew?  You had him here and you didn't tell me?"  he said almost angrily. 

"I didn't know if Kellin wanted me to and, besides, you would've thought I was nuts.  I don't want to be committed to a mental institution," I said, praying that this wasn't something that would end our newly restored friendship. Vic sighed and put his head in his hands, sighing heavily. "I guess that makes sense," he said. "I just...I don't know what to say."

Kellin rubbed Vic's knee and smiled. "I'll tell you what," I said, standing up. "I'll go see if Juliet will let me stay with her and you two can talk everything out." Vic and Kellin both looked up at me and nodded, their eyes wide. I smiled and turned, leaving them alone to sort themselves out.

–•–

Kellin's POV

Vic was scared, I could see it in his eyes. He thought he was losing his mind, but he wasn't, he was perfectly sane. "Vic, you okay?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"How can I be okay right now?" Vic said quietly. I took a deep breath, not that I needed it, and reached out to take his hand. Vic turned his face to mine and stared into my eyes. I felt tears rise up as I looked into those familiar, coffee-colored orbs that I loved so dearly. I wondered if he felt the same way as I did. I wondered if he had the same warm feeling spreading through his chest. "I love you," I blurted out.

Vic looked surprised, his eyes widening. "Uh, I guess that it's been a while and maybe you don't feel the same way anymore. I guess I don't expect you too, but I-"

"I said I'd always love you, didn't I?" Vic cut me off. "Nothing's changed. I still love Kellin Quinn with everything I have in me. I'm just not sure if you're actually him or if you're just a figment of my imagination." That hurt a little bit, but I ignored it. I knew that I couldn't expect us to just pick off where we left off. "I'm real, Vic," I murmured. "If I weren't could I do this?" Then, I leaned in and kissed him.

Vic was frozen, so I pulled away. His eyes searched my face for a moment and then he leaned in quickly and crashed his lips to mine. He brought his hand up to cup my face as he kissed me. I relished in the feeling of his mouth in mine. I'd never thought I'd ever kiss him again, but there I was. He still tasted the same, kissed the same, felt the same.

It felt like I was alive again and I could feel my skin growing warm as if blood was coursing in my veins again. "I missed this," Vic mumbled against my mouth.

"So did I," I said. "More than you know."   I felt him smile and run his fingers through my hair.  I couldn't help but smile too.  For the first time in years something felt right.