Bellarke ; Recluse

xiii. new years eve pt. 1

Clarke's POV :

Stupid Stupid Stupid. How could you be mad at Bellamy again! He was just trying to protect you.

My sudden burst of anger didn't become my only problem these last few days. First, I make a mess out of Bellamy & I's relationship, yet again. Second, I burnt my tounge with my burrito and now it's hurting like a mother trucker. Third, it's New Years Eve and I'm not doing anything.

Buzz Buzz Buzz.

" Hey Clarke, it's Octavia, Bellamy's sister. There is a party downtown and I was wondering if you wanted to come."

Sighing, I realize it's my best bet at a semi-decent New Year's Eve.

"Sure." I respond.

" Great! I'll have a limo pick you up at 7." She texts back almost immediately.

-

By the time I'm done prepping it's almost time to leave. I take one last look in the mirror and grab my clutch. As I observe my outfit one more time, I realize the dress I picked out is kinda slutty. Whatever, I still look cute. As if on cue, I get Octavia's text message saying that the ride is here. Hopping down the stairs I realize that this'll be my first party ever. I guess you could count the club I went to with Raven but other than that this'll be my first. How does one act at parties? What does one eat at a party? Who knew this would be so stressful?

I grasp the handle to the limo door and pull it open. Sitting down, I feel a person's presence next to me.

Bellamy's POV :

This plan has to work. Octavia said she would be here by now. Oh gosh, it's 7:01. What if she ditches the party?

Finally at exactly 7:03 p.m. Clarke enters the limo. When she looks up at me, she seems surprised. That's to be expected, since the idea was for her not to know I was coming.

" Hey, Clarke. " I say, stupidly. I don't even know what to say. 

" Hey. " She says back awkwardly. She shuts the car door and leans up against the wall, trying to make space between us.

After that, a long period of silence lingers. Simultaneously, we both break the quiet.

" Sorry, you go first. " She says.

" I'm sorry for how I treated you the other day-" I begin to say,

" No, it was my fault I shouldn't have- " She interrupts.

" Yes, but I should've known you were independent and didn't need to be protected. " I ramble back. " Especially because that's one of the things I love about you. "

IDIOT. Did you seriously just say that out loud???

I turn my head to keep her from seeing my bright red cheeks. I sneak a peak over at her and she's blushing too.

" So, what were you going to say? " I ask.

" I'm sorry for causing more awkwarkness between us. " She explains. " And for breaking us up once again. "

More silence follows this interaction, mostly because I have no idea what to even say. I mean what should I say?

" So do you think this will ever work out? " I ask. It's probably on both of our minds. We seem so good together but it's seems like the universe is against us.

" I don't Bellamy. I can't see myself dating or marrying a famous actor. Let's face it, our relationship would be public and it would be hard to gain privacy. " She explains.

" The thing is, Clarke, I don't care. All that matters to me now, is that I'm with you. " I confess.

" Bellamy. " She sighs.

" Clarke, come on. " I plead.

She repositions herself, facing me, and looks into my eyes. I've never noticed but her eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen. It reminds me of the sky on a sunny day or a lake or the ocean. Maybe one day I'll get to take her to one of those places. Suddenly, I feel angst about my relationship with Clarke. I've done nothing but try to make this work but Clarke seems to be guarded. Determination overtakes me. I have to do something about it. I can't just let her go.

After many moments in deep thoughts, I think I have a plan that could persuade Clarke to be my girlfriend.

***A/N

sorry I keep changing usernames!! I still don't like this one :-') kill me