Don't Be Afraid

Chapter Four

Dahvie was released from the hospital two weeks after their confession of feelings toward one another and the two had been inseparable ever since. There was, however, one minor detail neither one had brought up at the moment nor would bring up until it was an issue important enough to discuss. Jayy and Dahvie had two different views on love, which would be difficult to discuss considering they in fact are opposites of each other. While Dahvie believes in love Jayy does not. Maybe because he is afraid to love again, he hasn't found the right person to love, or he truly does not think love exists and the idea of having a soul mate out there in the world is nothing but absurd. Dahvie, on the other hand, believes his soul mate is out there and that love truly exists.

"Don't you think it would get done faster if I write it for you?" Dahvie looked up at Jayy as he walked towards him and smiled shyly. He sat down next to Dahvie and tried to grab the notebook and pencil in his hand. Dahvie pulled them away to try to keep Jayy from seeing it. "That's not nice..." Dahvie chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"It's not done and I don't want you looking until it is" Jayy tilted his head and frowned in confusion. Dahvie had a light blush on his cheeks as he tried to put the notebook away. "It's a surprise" Jayy smiled, placing his hand over Dahvie's. He wanted to hold his best friend but Dahvie was not going to be comfortable if Jayy wrapped his arms around him. Jayy looked his best friend over. Recently, Dahvie has been catching Jayy staring at him, checking him out, and having this look in his eyes that Dahvie could not necessarily figure out. His blush intensified as Jayy crawled over him, it was obvious to him that Jayy was still trying to be careful. He cupped his face and leaned down, leaving their lips inches apart. Jayy pulled away and got off the bed completely. Dahvie sat up on the bed, as best as he could, and sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why do you do this to me every chance you get, Jayy" He stayed silent as he looked at his reflection. Dahvie was now more upset from not receiving an answer. "Jayy why do you tease me like this? You make me believe you'll actually do something but instead you move out of reach and it's frustrating because I" Dahvie let out a deep sigh of frustration. "I can't even react fast enough or I can't understand why you-"

Jayy slammed his fist on the dresser and turned to Dahvie "I haven't figured out what I'm feeling yet Dahvie!" He sighed as he looked away and down to the ground to avoid eye contact. He spoke softly as if he did not want Dahvie to hear. "I have strong feelings for you a-and it's hard..." Jayy covered his face so Dahvie wouldn't see his tears. "I don't want to hurt you but I want to kiss you but I have no fucking clue if I should considering my feelings are strong a-and I've never had s-such strong feelings-" Dahvie pulled Jayy into a hug. He didn't want to see Jayy so worried and full of fear from his own feelings. Dahvie felt awful for causing Jayy such pain and worry, he didn't mean to. All Dahvie wanted was to find out why Jayy teased him all the time, not to see him tear up. Jayy rested his arms against Dahvie's chest and buried his face against him. Dahvie gently rubbed circles on Jayy's back trying to sooth him.

"I didn't know I caused you to worry so much, Jayy. You know I love your smile and if I'm causing you to worry this much I can stop what I'm doing wrong" Jayy sniffled and looked up at Dahvie.

"You're not doing anything wrong Dahvie. Trust me when I say I'm just... I'm afraid of us not working out and losing you" Jayy began to mumble more to himself than to Dahvie. "I would never forgive myself if I hurt you and I'm terrified of losing such a wonderful, sweet, caring, happy, loving, wise person. You're my best friend, my blood brother" He chuckled as tears rolled down his cheeks while Jayy held a tight grip on his hair. "I'm so afraid that I'm positive it's impacting the way I act and for that I apologize" There was silence between the two for what felt like hours and frankly Dahvie did not enjoy it. He wrapped his arms around Jayy and kisses the top of his head.

"You don't need to apologize, Jayy" He wiped Jayy's tears away as he spoke softly. "I wouldn't want to lose you either and my feelings continue to confuse me. You weren't kidding when you say straight guys go Jayy for you" Dahvie chuckled and Jayy smiled, although he was hiding it. Dahvie gently tilted Jayy's head to face him and smiled. "You have such a pretty smile that lights up my world" A deep red blush quickly made its way onto Jayy's face causing him to move his head from Dahvie's hand. He turned around from embarrassment. "I'll respect your decision if you don't want a relationship but if you decide that you would like to be my boyfriend I'm perfectly fine with taking things slow. I just want you to know either way I'll love you and I'll still be here with you and for you" Dahvie looked around for his crutches and debated whether trying to walk away would be a good idea or even possible.

"Do you need help?" Dahvie turned to Jayy who was now smiling. Jayy stood up and held his arms out to Dahvie. "Come on, I'll carry you" He did his best crawling to Jayy as he carefully pulled him onto his arms. Dahvie laid his head on Jayy's shoulder.

"Do not drop me..." Dahvie spoke softly and Jayy held him close as he carried Dahvie out of the room. "I'm hungry" He looked up at Jayy with a pout. Jayy chuckled as he looked down at his best friend.

"What should I make you?" He rolled his eyes as Dahvie shrugged. "Does cereal sound okay?" Dahvie smiled and nodded as his eyes closed. Jayy carefully laid Dahvie on the couch and made his way to the kitchen for cereal. "Just don't fall asleep!"

"No promises, Jayybear!" A light blush formed onto Jayy's cheeks at the sound of the nickname. He didn't think Dahvie would give him a nickname but he liked it. Dahvie, on the other hand, was embarrassed and blushing a deep shade of red from letting the name slip from his lips. Idiot...

Jayy walked back with Dahvie's cereal but frowned. Dahvie looked as if he fell asleep. He quietly placed the bowl onto the coffee table and got on his knees, next to the couch. He gently moved the hair from Dahvie's face and tucked behind his ear. He peeked an eye open and mumbled "I'm not asleep, silly" Jayy couldn't help but smile at his sleepy lover.

"I brought you the cereal you asked for" Dahvie sat up and cupped Jayy's face, leaning close. His eyes widened from surprise as he blushed brightly. Dahvie closed the gap between them, kissing Jayy softly. Neither could be any happier.