Once in a Lifetime Bug

Middle School Shenanigans- Chapter 1

There are no better memories than school days! We learn and grow; we fail but get back up and keep going. The mistakes and memories we make and cherish during school days are what we carry forward in life. Middle school, for me, is when those years showed me a lot about life, friends, love and family. We all have our friends circle during middle school where we all talk about absolute nonsensical topics, do the craziest things and have our first experiences. Those are the years in which we bunk classes, pull our teachers leg, have lunch during class hours without the teacher knowing and so many such memorable yet mischievous things. Middle school was just the same for me. Bunked abundant number of classes, got caught by my teachers and principal, ate during class hours, slept during class despite sitting in the first bench and the list goes on and on. I've always been the kind of person who lives by the motto "Live today like it's your last".

For me music has always played the major part and has always been my medicine during the darkest hours. Being a part of the school band and choir was my dream and that dream came true all thanks to my school. But what followed this dream, was more than I could ever imagine.

Two years after being and becoming a major part of the school band and choir, I finally got a stage to shine on and to show my real talent when our school decided to host an extravagant musical which included each and every student of the school and staff. That was when I first met the girl, who was my first love, Jayne. I had always heard from others that first love shows and gives you a lot of memories and mistakes that we learn from. But never in my worst nightmare did I dream of experiencing my first love the way she made it for me.

We had a mutual friend through whom we became really close and got to know each other. At first it felt like bliss. We spoke every day, spent time at school during practice and break. Eventually we got really close, she saw what a total goof I can be, how much of an immature kid lives in me. She loved every bit of the way I was and the things I said and did for her. Time passed and without further wait, I asked her out. At first she didn't say anything, but later as she walked away she turned back smiled and said, "I'd love to spend my life with you". And that was it. Those words of hers kept me up and about all night and just missing into my own dream world. After that you can imagine how things would have been. It was like any other perfect love story where the guy and girl spend time with each other, go out, cuddling, hugs and kisses, long messages and you know the rest. But as time went by, her behavior had begun to change. She stopped spending time with me, got mad at me for the smallest of reasons, would break up every day in the morning, get me to beg for her to come back and again become normal again only until the next morning when it would start all over again. It had become a routine for the both of us; for her to get mad at me for absolutely the silliest of reasons and for me to keep our relationship firm. Plenty of people told me that she wasn't worth my love and affection but not one did I listen to because my heart still had some hope that she would change and see the intensity of my love for her.

One of the days at school, never had I seen her so mad before, she looked dead straight at me but just looked away like my existence meant absolutely nothing to her. Even then I went up to her to sort things straight and to know the reason behind her behavior. She did not even utter a word. I lost all my senses and my own dignity that very next moment because I dropped down to my knees with my hands together and begged her in front of all the 8th graders around. That every moment I did not realize how I had fallen so low from my own standards for someone who doesn't even empathize my feelings. I stayed down on my knees begging her to just talk and sort it out. Her reaction for which was something that really brought down my dignity. In front of everyone she stuck one hard, right on my cheek. She said and I quote, 'You are nothing but an embarrassment to me and I don't want you anymore.' After she said this all that ran through my head was the words she said when I proposed to her which made me truly doubt my worth.

A couple of months after breaking up with her, as I was just getting back to being normal, the most hurtful news came to my ears. While we were together, she was not only with me but two other guys from her class. This literally made me lose all faith in any kind of relationship and had made it so rigid for me to trust anyone for that matter.
First love, as many describe as their most amazing and unforgettable experience, mine truly was unforgettable for the way she treated me, nothing less than dirt and just a use and throw piece of paper for nearly a year and a half. Despite always being there for her, catching her when she shattered, being her shoulder to lean on and to love her a lot, all she gave me as memories was pain, suffering and a huge hole in my chest.

I realized soon enough that she was never worth my time, love, care or affection. She had only used me to become popular and to be noticed by other guys. She never was interested in my commitment and love but all she ever wanted was my fame and popularity in school and among my juniors and seniors. I made a decision that I would never let anyone just walk into my life and hurt me the way Jayne did.

But again, who knows what the future has in store for us. Just when I was recovering from my first heartbreak, when things were falling back into place, life had to throw a few more obstacles at my way just to break me down and that's precisely what happened.
The only thing I could say after what happened and what was to come next is, God bless my soul and give me all the strength to withstand all that is to come.