Once in a Lifetime Bug

Disorienting Fall - Chapter 9

We were having the best moments of our lives with one another. We ensured that we met at least twice a month so that we could spend time and get closer to each other. We had completed close to a year and a half of being together, which to us, hardly even felt like a week of love, fun and cherished memories together.

At first, when I got to know her, we did have a couple of misunderstandings, but they were such that we sorted things within a few hours. Though we had it sorted, the pain it caused us both, had us in tears. Back then her mom didn't know me personally or barely even knew who I was apart from the fact that I was just a very close friend of her daughter whose presence meant a lot to her.

So every time we had an argument or when she saw me upset, it hurt her as well and she would be upset and low and because of these small gliches, her mom never liked me and asked her to keep away from me. But despite her mom's judgement and intuition of me being nothing but a bad influence to her, she went against her mom's words and continued to get close to me. Nothing really seemed to get in our way or stop us from being faithful to each other. But little did we know that things were about to take a drastic turn and affect us in the most unexpected way possible.

As days went past, the situations and problems in her house kept adding to the annoyance of the distance between her and I. We had started to disagree with one another and have silly arguments for even the smallest and most irrelevant things. It was as if everything I said or everything I did irritated the life out of her and she just didn't want to talk to me for even one moment. At that moment I had begun to question if her feelings for me were fading away. This sudden outburst of arguments and fights made us become so formal and vague between each other that it no longer felt like we were us, who we were when we first met, just talking, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

It is often said that, fights help make the relationship stronger and helps the two souls get to know each other in a more deeper and different level. Our fights would even get us to say things that we both would often regret after we have said it and sometimes even say things so brutal that it would get us to believe that to be a fact. But despite everything that would get said in that spur of the moment or that sudden outburst that happens, we still ensure to clarify things between each other and come to an understanding about the situation and go back to being normal.

To be very frank with you all, I noticed one main difference between all my previous relationships and the relationship with her and it was that, with the others, no matter what happened or what they said and did, I was the only one who would genuinely fight to get things back to normal or for that matter even try to get things clarified and sorted so that things would be alright. Because for me, ever since I was a kid, I was taught to always ensure that no matter what I say or do, it should never hurt, insult or offend the other person. And that is exactly what I had and have followed all throughout my life. Maybe thats one of the reasons why I was always the one to end up heart broken, lied to, used and even abandoned without even a valid enough reason or justification as to where I went wrong so that I would at least get a chance to improve upon and become a better person.

With my Bug, I have become the person who I was meant to be in this lifetime of mine. She was and is the only soul in this world to have caused the biggest and most drastic changes in me, those changes that I desperately needed but didn't know how to bring about in me. And without a doubt or care in the world, she did it in a way that was noticeable to everyone who knew me in the past and after she walked into my life. She had and is become the most important and unexplainably the most special person in my life and no matter what would come our way, I knew this for a fact that the place she holds in my life, no other soul, be it family or friends, no one could take it. She is one person without whom I can't think or even function properly and make it through a day.

After all those weeks of arguments, things had finally begun to settle and things were slowly going back to normal. At least I thought it was, but no. Karma bitch slapped us exceptionally so hard in the face, that it threw us out of our wits.

It was in the month of October 2014, the problems in her house had gotten out of control that it had pushed us to split.

Yes, we broke up.

This was something that really destroyed us both inside out.

That evening, the only words that were spoken between her and I, were about us being there for each other. To us, just because we broke up, it did not mean that we would just let our relationship and love for each other just sink and let it go to ruins. Instead we made a decision to love each other, as we always, did irrespective of the title we hold and that we wouldn't let anyone or anything come in between us or put us in a state that it would require us to sacrifice our relationship. That evening was the most heart breaking evening I ever had. But there's a saying that I believe in, "If you love something and it wants to go, let it go. If it comes back to you, it always was yours. But if it doesn't then it never did belong to you." And this is exactly what I told myself that night. I believe and have faith in our love for each other and I know that in future, somewhere down the line, we would be together again (though it isn't like we aren't together, but I mean together as in officially, with a tag or a name to our relationship). To me, all that really mattered or has mattered from day one is to keep her happy and see her happy even if it meant that I wouldn't be around her. But somewhere deep down, all my heart kept saying is, "You dumb jackass! You know you can't do without her and you are living only to see and keep her happy! You love her more than anything and you can give her the best that she deserves by never giving up and doing anything and everything possible for her. You can be the one that she wants and the one that she needs." At the end of the day, anything is possible. Right?

People always say, every story has a happy ending. But what about her and I? What was going to happen to us and our relationship? Was this the end of Us? Or was there something afar?