Black Butler x Reader

Modern!Ciel x Reader Part Two

Human

I can hold my breath,
I can bite my tongue,
I can stay awake for days,
If that's what you want,
Be your number one.

You met Alois a few months later, and you were thankful. He treated you the way you deserved to be treated, fixing your broken heart, and taking care of it like it was the most important thing to him.

I can fake a smile,
I can force a laugh,
I can dance and play the part,
If that's what you ask,
Give you all I am,

Ciel noticed the sudden change in your life. How could he miss it? You were spending more time with the blond, and less time with him. You always talked about him and all the great things you did together, and he felt a pang of jealousy. He wouldn't show it though. He would never admit that he had lost. He word never admit that he let you slip away.

I can do it (x3)
But I'm only human,
And I bleed when I fall down,
I'm only human,
And I crash and I break down,

He watched as Alois make you happy. He watched as you smiled a smile that only appeared in his presence. He watched you laugh with him. He watched you kiss him. He watched you hug him. He watched you hold hands with him. He watched him have you. And you be his.

Your words in my head,
Knives in my heart,
You build me up and then I fall apart,
'Cause I'm only human.

While your relationship was growing, his was falling apart. He tried to talk to you, but you were always busy with dates and spending time with your blue eyes boyfriend. He texted you but you rarely replied. And when you did it was hours later.
He needed you just like you needed him, but he would never show it, because he wasn't going to be rejected even more than he was now.

I can turn it on,
Be a good machine,
I can hold the weight of worlds,
If that's what you need,
Be your everything.
I can do it (x2)
I'll get through it.

He watched as his relationship crashed and burned, while yours was becoming unbreakable. Ciel wasn't known to cry, but lately he'd go home and cry himself to sleep. Even if it was a few minutes of crying.
He needed you. He wanted you. And he lost you. And it hurt him more than anything else could, but he was going to get through it even if it killed him.
Because you no longer needed him, but he still needed you.

But I'm only human,
And I bleed when I fall down,
I'm only human,
And I crash and break down,

You noticed the change in Ciel. The way he was distancing himself from others. The way his eyes lost that light. The way his smile wasn't the same. The way his laugh sounded forced. And you noticed the way he was always looking at you, but you wouldn't let yourself fall into that trap for a third time, especially not when you finally found someone else.

Your words in my head,
Knives in my heart,
You build me up and I fall apart,
'Cause I'm only human.

Ciel looked through photos you both took together, and a tsunami of emotions washed over him. Most sadness. He missed you. He needed you like a plant needs water. He needed you like a dog needs an owner. He needed you like a human needs a heart. He needed you like you needed Alois. And it was slowly eating away at him.

I'm only human (x2)
Just a little human.
I can take so much,
'Til I've had enough

His feelings weren't going. Even after months of watching you being happy. He still needed you. And he didn't know how much he could take. He opened up to you, and he neglected you until you moved on and now he was pushing people away.

'Cause I'm only human,
And I bleed when I fall down,
I'm only human,
And I crash and I break down.

He was making a big decision. It was a painful one, but it seemed like the right one. You were happy without him and he needed to accept that, and the only way to do that was to stay away from you. He stayed up all night writing the letter.
Apologising. Explaining the disappearance of his presence, not that you'd notice.
That's what he thought anyway.

Your words in my head,
Knives in my heart,
You build me up and I fall apart,
'Cause I'm only human.

You read the letter the next day.
And it hurt.
Ciel moved, and he didn't even say goodbye. He left you. And he didn't ever explain why. Your best friend, the person you loved so deeply even after all this time, left without saying a word. You broke down, and Alois was there for you.
Alois, who would never hurt you like Ciel did.
Alois, who loved you the way Ciel didn't.
Alois, who gave you his heart when Ciel broke yours.