Dai

Taste

Hama was surprised at first by the sudden changes that struck me, i was surprised too. However, i recovered quickly and realized what was going on. This must be a perk of being a human in Dai, being able to learn and absorb knowledge and gain power instantly. I couldn't remember what happened when I closed my eyes, but I felt I had the answer to our first step here.

"We will start with your father, his blood flows through your body. I'll try to summon him to us and make sure he pays for what he's done" I was speaking casually, as if I'm talking about the weather. Hama was silent, she started to see my transformation, it must be what other gods go through as well. She didn't exactly pull away her hands from mine, but she somehow managed to slip away "Summon my father..? I.. don't know. Soul, my father rules an entire Kingdom. I've only heard stories.. but wars between gods are almost non existing in Dai's history. I know you feel capable now, but please consider our position here" hesitant, I expected as much.

It was weird that I felt no fear at all, even though I kept remembering how he devoured that man back then, the fear is gone. I smiled at her, her eyes were really beautiful. I can't figure if this was something I missed or if I chose not to notice as much. Some feeling inside of me began to develop, so immature that I couldn't even give it a name. I got off bed and walked towards the window "Don't worry, I told you, I don't really care if I die. I had no purpose when I first arrived here. I'm not sure what kind of a man I was back on earth, but at least I know that on a raw emotional level, I refuse what's happening in this world, to the people, by the name of false gods..." my chest felt relieved, I was feeling confident and happy. But, I knew that what I needed to use was stronger, emotions of a darker origin. The twisted pain of knowingly hurting yourself, it's as if you were flipping through the pages of your own dispaire. Oddly, it was specific inside of me, it was betrayal that I felt long ago, one that burnt through my heart.

"I still don't know how I'll confront him,but I can't ignore the fire burning in my heart Hama. Please... have faith in me" my words seemed to have an effect on her. I thought about it and it was weird for her, after all gods have given this world nothing but pain, abandoned the faith of people, I come and ask her for faith. I wasn't expecting much, but as soon as I saw her lips smiling beautifully, I was happier than ever. Who knows, perhaps I was never happy before.

I asked Hama to prepare herself along with Dicer, we had to distance ourselves from Stopp to protect its people in case anything goes wrong. I felt bad for asking her to risk her safety while being with me, but I knew I couldn't summon that man without her. Some sort of knowledge has seeped into my mind, feeding me the information I needed. To summon a god, his blood had to be present along with someone with strong emotional tie of love or hate towards him. Hama was the only one capable of providing so much hate for that man. The scary part of this entire plan was a question I kept asking myself. I had no courage to give any answer, but I kept asking.
Will I be able to kill a man if it comes down to that?
Little did i know, the feeling that creeped under my skin would be so clear soon...

We decided to leave the next morning. Hama left to tell Dicer about our plan, I missed her. Missed? Really? It was almost like there's someone inside me watching in disbelieve how I actually cared for her. But.. do I have that right? At a time like this? I doubted my right to feel, to have emotions. It wasn't related to all emotions, perhaps the positive ones.
Hama, what sort of life did she have? A father who abandoned her and took away her mother. Left alone, her feelings growing to hate her father and all the other false gods. She had to stay at the temple, though she had no belief in its teachings. Torn between her desires and what will allow her to survive. How familiar, i had a feeling that i was torn too. Maybe i was really destroyed back on earth that i was sent here as some sort of second chance. Or is this my redemption?

I quickly walked down the stairs and left the temple. Pieces of the wood were still on the ground. I was sure that i needed much more strength than that to face my opponent. It's weird, i don't even know his name. I'm going to face him soon, the fire that burns so deeply inside my heart grows quickly. I looked at the stars of the night sky as i walked down the peaceful streets. People no longer knelt before me, it was for the best. It's funny, i felt some pain in my kneck reminding me of how many times i might have been looking down, almost kneeling before others. I was rather regretful, it's as if i missed so many chances.

Soon, i reached a memorial stone built out of dark rocks. Names of people who were devoured by the previous gods were engraved in golden writings. My eyes began reading on their own, i didn't want to stop, there must be thousands of nsmes here. However, i kept going. One by one, name by name, i almost tasted blood in my mouth... Metalic taste of pure horror as death kissed them good night.

I wasn't sure how much time has gone by, i was only focused on that last name. It was the newest addition to the memorial.
"Derian Jaan" i whispered that poor man's name. They had no body to burry, they only deduced what happened when he hasn't made it home. If only i was stronger back then... Why? Why should it always be too late...

The night passed silently, i tried to sleep. It was only when the morning light woke me up that i realized how i don't dream anymore when i sleep. It wasn't important, today is finally the day. Time for our small party to move out of Stopp towards the grass lands. Dicer didn't talk much, he carried another blood covered heart in his hands and kept tinkering and messing with it. Hama seemed nervous, but she managed to smile at me. My heart was confused between that growing seed of unexplained emotions I'm developing and the rage I had to use in order to face my opponent. The people of Stopp all wished us a safe journey

I took one last look at Stopp as we walked away towards the unknown fate that binds us all. I'll avenge you all, i will...

=How naïve=