Dai

Drop

After walking for several hours, we finally decided to take a break. My body seemed to feel no pain, i could walk forever. However, for Hama and Dicer, it was a tough trip. The grassland seemed to stretch to infinity, the scene around us hardly changed.
"I've never been this far away from Stopp.. it's really quiet and peaceful here, though i hate the endless nature of this place" Hama sighed, "Dicer here has been to the kingdom.. um, run by my father" i looked at Dicer, he was laying on the soft grass, almost carefree. He didn't talk much, so he simply nodded and closed his eyes. We soon heard him snoring in deep sleep.

The silence was awkward, there was nothing to look at around us, so we ended up glancing at one another. Hama broke the silence first "Some of the old residents of Stopp told us stories about gods who came before. It's weird, you.. Don't seem to have the same interests or desires they had" I raiaed a brow at her, "What desires?" I asked, she soon explained "You know, some asked for food and drinks, they wanted to taste everything since it's free. Others asked for jewles and valuables of the people themselves. And others..." She was about to say something, but suddenly realized that the words in her mind. She was actually flushed and looked away from me. "You know..." She added.

I smiled then grinned at her, she looked away. Seeing her blushing was really beautiful, even in the circumstances we're in. "I think that something that special and precious can only be done with someone you truly love..." i almost whispered. I wasn't able to see her reaction, but i felt like this is one of the rare moments when i catch a glimpse of the past. A past that had me waiting, suppressing my desires and doing my best to contain my lowest-level needs. Women, girls, females, they are all beautiful. Beauty is really relative, but ultimately, we are meant to attract to our opposite. I almost caught a trail of memories that tried to get away, i managed to remember tiny bits. I chose to wait, perhaps for so long, instead of falling for the easier path of fulfillment.
"Your body is your kingdom, Hama. Its beauty, its marvels, its wonders, its secrets and all the emotions it houses, all yours. You are the one with the choice to grant someone the permission to truly enjoy it or not. In the case of someone forcefully breaking into that kingdom... I think there's something i always reminded myself of... in my previous life..." My eyes drifted away into the distant world, a world where i saw those who wait feel pain and fail while those whom took a shortcut, the ones whom used force winning... But is it a real genuine win?

"If someone takes something by force... Then he's only tasting the broken shards of what would have been a perfect experience..."

I could hear Hama's breathing building up. I looked towards her and she was in shock. Her eyes wide open and her lips trembling. She soon looked away again, her voice hardly reaching me "Soul... If i could ask you for one thing, as a favor, or a promise... I know it's too early for me to actually mean much to you, but please.. Don't ever change"

Too early? Doesn't she know that...

...

Yeah, i guess it's too early indeed. All i did was nod slowly, i doubt that she saw me though. We both remained silent for the rest of our break time, we started to move again afterwards.

I tried estimating the distance i'd have to take so that Stopp can remain as safe as possible. A few hours' worth of walking would suffice. Little did i know back then, wars between the gods are much grander...

Upon making it far enough, i asked Hama to rest for a while. What we had to come was going to be both risky and exhausting for her. I spoke with Dicer, told him exactly what to do. He was surprised at first, i seemed to have known really in-depth techniques of heartsmithing. However, he soon realized that my uniqueness might actually be within that aspect, the heart and emotions.

I asked Hama to sit in the middle of a circle that we made using small rocks. The circle wasn't huge, but it was enough for several people to stand inside. Dicer stood at one end of the circle, he held an empty glass bottle and waited for me to do my part. I walked towards Hama in the middle and crouched before her, it was still awkward for us to be this close without each of us looking away. I did my best to smile, it was a clumsy one. "Here we go Hama... I need you to relax, or at least try to. This will feel a bit uncomfortable, if you feel pain, i'll stop right away" I tried my best not to scare her, she nodded quickly. I reached towards her chest, hesitating for a few seconds, she finally held my hand firmly and pushed it forward. I was so embarrassed, but one thing calmed me down, her heart beat.

Gentle, pure, caring, kind... All beautiful meanings and their words were flowing into me with each beat. I wished i could dive deeper into her heart, but i had to work fast. I closed my eyes, doing my best to clear my mind and let go of all logic. A single name was pulsing, over and over again.

-I need you now, Berserker-

Hama's blood began to flow out of hear heart, it made its way through her skin and began to orbit around my hand. I quickly pulled away and directed her blood towards the empty bottle Dicer held. Somehow, it was all natural for me, controlling her blood and making it flow mid air towards its target. Dicer used the blood in the bottle and began to pour it into his hand and whispered things i couldn't hear, but i knew what he was saying. This ritual was now complete, all that's left was for Hama to call his name.
"Hama... i want you to gather all your emotions, all that you feel towards him.. and shout his name out" Hama nodded at me and took a few deep breaths before taking one deeper one and shouting with all her strength "Maaaaaaaliiiiiiiik!!!"

Hama's voice almost echoed everywhere around us. Her eyes were furious, looking around in anticipation. We soon felt the air feel so heavy, it even made me feel wear in the knees. He was here, he was with us, but in an instant, all we could see was a flash of blinding light that blinded us all...

...

I walked through the faceless crowds around me. Their cold eyes crawled against the back of my neck. Their unseen lips almost smiled, perhaps smirked at the pathetic thing that dragged his feet against the shiny floor. My chest felt so tight, overflowing with pain. Knives that stabbed from the inside, they were cold and heartless. I forgot how to breath, eternity seemed to pass every time i take a breath and listen to my own chest's silent screams. I dared to look up into their horrifying eyes, all i see is my own eyes crying. I felt so weak, my body's falling apart. Their mouths slowly opened and a voice finally spoke...

"You dare to actually summon me filthy bro? You expect to face me with that pathetic weak excuse for an ability of yours?" Millions of voices all rushing to destroy my ears and forever reside in my molten brain. It was his voice, though the scene was mine. The leftover memories of my former life, my fears, my death in the crowds around me over and over again.

Being weak can never begin to describe the state i was in. And we thought we could actually take him on...?

How pathetic...

Distant voices are calling my name. I could sense her warm tears like i did before, but it was impossible to break out of my own nightmare. Hama's father... Malik, is truly a fearsome god.