Life Is Not A Fairytale (ON HOLD)

Chapter Fifteen

A.N I am so slow and so sorry!
(School is almost starting ew!)

Chapter Fifteen

When I love, I love hard, I love the most in a friendship, i'll be the one running miles for the other while I know that they wouldn't even get off the couch for me. I know when i'm loved, and when i'm hated. And i'm totally fine with both of them. But when it's someone I love who hates me, that hurts like hell. I'd give my everything to make them happy, while they'd give their everything to make me feel horrible. Of course my friends aren't those kind of people. I know they are not trying to hurt me, I know that they care about me too.
But, sometimes my mind takes over and suddenly they hate me and want me dead. That's what I think. Deep down I know it might not be true, but it might just as well be real.

My family hates me, I know that. They do, they think i'm a freak, they think i'm a disappointment. And maybe I am, but I am me and if they don't accept that, then I don't really give a crap about that to be honest.
I had planet to be long gone by now, I planned on my own house with my best friends, where there is no harm and only happiness. I had planned on being arid of all of them just so I can be happy again. If i'm the family disappointment, then why would they care if i'm there or not.

"Hey! Nice to see you again!" My aunt exclaimed, I could smell the fake in her voice, they all smelled like that. "I have missed you so much! You never come to visit."

I walked further in, not really giving a damn about being rude. But I greeted everyone eventually. I didn't want to be here, I knew everyone was judging me the second I turned around or left the room. I knew they all talked about me when I'm not there. I know it, and I don't care.

But there was one person, one girl, that did care. Haley.
My older niece, she really understands me and has been there since always. She, and the whole family knows about my non-believe. But she is the only one who doesn't see it as a big deal

"I have missed you so much!" She said grabbing me into a tight hug, her words were the only once here that didn't smell like fake, it was honesty and I knew it.

"I missed you too." I smiled at her as we let go. We walked up the stairs into her room, it was a family gathering but my family separated the kids from the parents, including the teens when I say 'kids' 
And I was fine with that since I want to be away from all them down there. Big groups of people, mostly judgmental, makes me anxious.

"What do you want to do?" She asked as we sat on her bed, the little kids were watching some tv as we made conversation about everything and nothing. I liked my niece, I liked talking to her and telling her about how I really am. In front of the rest of my family I had to fake it, be calm, be normal. But honestly, i'm not. I'm strange, I can be loud and obnoxious just as well. But I won't show that, I won't give them me when they don't deserve me. I don't even want to be here, if it wasn't for my niece I wouldn't even have come. I would've faked that i'm sick, or that I still had to do homework. But I knew my mom would get pissed for saying no, again. And if Haley is here, it's fine just as well.
Of course I'd rather be at home in bed listening Ectiono 5 and hang out with internet friends, but I got given no choice.

"I hope I really get into the University of Surrey next year. This year they didn't want me due to 'too many students' but since I'm already on the waiting list i'll for SURE get in next year!"

"Ahw, I hope so! I know how it feels to be in a place you hate. Believe me." I chuckled making her laugh. "I really do feel bad for you though, being away from your friend and needing to deal with all the fuck ups."

"It's not all that hard, just ignore the students, go with what you're told and stay invisible." She shrugged with a goofy smile.

I wish I could be invisible

Before I knew it the night was over and my mom and I left to go home, we greeted everyone goodbye and got into out cab. Our family lives at the other side of the city so walking isn't an options.
We eventually made it home and as soon through the apartment door. I got to my room and goodnight Derrice!
Finally.

Tuesday, just getting closer and closer to the weekend again. I don't much hate this day, but it can go through. It was a short collage day and i'm very much glad with that. My recovering of Saturday night is still in it's progress but anxiety stats are lowering, and I sound like a doctor.

Bailey and I met up at out usual table in the back of the dining room and had a little chat. It was mostly about nonsense, but what are we going to talk about then? School, didn't think so.

"I'm still sorry about yesterday though, I really had to make the tasks. I'd get in trouble if I didn't" I said just after it turned quiet between us two.

"Nah, it's okay. I was at home making video's anyway." She smiled.
Bailey once in a while makes video's for fun. She mostly does it when she just needs things of her mind. She has her own youtube account and mostly talks about DIY's and hack's teenagers can use. She has around 200 subscribers now and she has done a couple of Q&A's just as well. I find it pretty damn cool how she does is actually. I wouldn't even find the strength to grab a camera.

"I talked about make-up.. Sounds lame, but it really isn't" she chuckled. "Afterwards we went to my mom in the hospital and checked on her." She smiled and my still unanswered question came to mind again.
Why is she even in Cambridge?

"But wait, London has some of the most amazing hospitals there are. Why is she in Cambridge?"

"Ohw, yeah.. They didn't have the medicine and qualified doctors. Most of them were to busy with their own patients that they were scared my mom wouldn't get the amount of help she needs. They moved her up to Cambridge around three days after taking her in here in London." She explained the story and turned quiet right after again. She looked at her hands and inhaled deeply.
"But.. Uh, It's just an extra fifteen minutes, so no problem." She exhaled her breath with a chuckle following. She played with her nails and looked up at me again. "You want something to eat? I'm not so hungry." She grabbed her backpack and searched for her food.

"Bailey, I really appreciate the offer but i'm quite stuffed from my breakfast." I rubbed my stomach with a smile. What breakfast?

"Ohw.. Well, okay.. Let's go outside, i'm getting claustrophobic in this place." She stood up as I followed her out. It's not such a good idea since it's winter and we live in England, but let's roll with it and stand in the freezing cold for the heck of it.

"Already started your writing assignment?" I asked as we looked over the school property.
She shook her head as I glanced at her.
"Ohw, you should. It's pretty fun." I chuckled making her laugh.

"Not so much for me." She said in disbelieve. "I'm probably going to get a fifty-five or thirty even. And she doesn't like me anyway, she'd probably give me a ten minus even if it would be a ninety."

I hate situations like this, I never know how to comfort people. What am I supposed to say? 'Everything will be okay'? 'No, she doesn't hate you.'?
Well thanks Sherlock, that really helped a lot!

I wish I was Tommy right now.

"Well, gotta go to class." Bailey grabbed her backpack of the ground and headed back into the building. I ram after her again and caught up with her pace.

"I'm sorry for asking." I tried to make it any less bad.

She shook her head at my attempt and smiled, "it's okay."

No it's not.