My mother: A readheaded ninny with a taste for Nandos. We had been eating it every night now for two and a half months. And i am starting to ooze out of my trousers. I wish she could give me some salad every now and again but she doesnt its just chicken ,chicken ,chicken and i have no friends to tell me it will be okay. No one wants to talk to that fat kid who hears voices Telling him to spill crandberry juice on thier mothers new white carpet. I already apoligised for that at least once. I think. I cant really remember....
Anyway, i was sitting in my lazyboy eating chicken again and watching the old two and a half men when my mum looks over from her treadmill and says...... Should we go to disneyland?
I said calmy and cool -ish if thats a word. Maybe.
I said sure and the next day she bought me tickets .
I thought that she was really coming through for me, she always ignored me. Evwn from bieng a baby. I swear once a dude took me and i had to dig my way out of where he was holding me with my new founded baby teath.
And when i got home she said, i thought you were in bed. Looking clueless. She always told me that was just a dream but i knew it wasn't.
She even gave me the nickname noob. And that my dear mother is why i will harvest your organs in exchange for ham. Worthless tender juicy supple ham. Mmmm.
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Dont even dare Dy
HumorA young boy who goes by the name of "Noob" goes to Florida to visit his father for the first time. He imagines that his trip will be filled with awkward silences and boring detours around a failing theme park. However when he arrives in his dad's ho...
