Cocaine ponies

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With the arrival of my mother lurking behinst me, only three days to go. I have been so occupied with the countdown i haven't moved from my bed, i smell of myself and as you are aware, this is negative.

i feel as though my absence has proved to show my distant re connection wit my father. in the time that i have refrained from our father-son - pineapple time, the less i have seen of them its clear that if i want to maintain my relationships its me who has to work at them. that is fine by me, its not as if im good enough at anything else,its only just that if i want a relationship i should work hard for it. I need validation.

Like a lady on the street corner.

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