If now and again we treated one another with the respect we deserve. The world would not be half as chaotic ..... Or exiting, however the humans and the world will come together as one and the world will truly know peace. Living side by side in happiness, afterall what is life without love.
What is happiness without fear, what is song without meaning. And what is a person if emotionless.
Dave Xavier II is the best friend I have ever had, and possibly ever will. My father had introduced us under intimidating circumstances , as never before have I ever left the country, my mother ( other than the time I was kidnapped) or had I layed eyes on my dead beat father, I was suffering from 12 hour jetlag and coverd in yogurt, however never had I seen such promising beauty in a piece of pure exquisiteness that the commoners call "fruit".I have now been talking to my dear friend Dave for two hours, were sat outside of my fathers "hobbit hole" on his lawn with cookies and milk, I hate milk however I wouldn't like to upset Dave by turning this pleasant chat about chicken murder into a hard headed conversation about if drinking orange juice is cannibalism, so as I would hate to upset my new found friend with ridiculous nonsense, I bite the bullet and sip the milk slowly so I don't over do it and throw chunks on him, as I am sure he would do for me.
And although he is a pineapple, he is increadibly intelligent and culturally educated on important matters , such as hipsters, hippies and terrorism, I havn't asked him as it would be rude but I sense he is im his mid 30s ,I have to tell you now, I will be extremely dissapointed if the security doesn't allow him in Disneyland.As the neighbor's walk thier many dogs around my fathers lawn, I notice they glance over with confusion, " WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT YOU FUCKING POTATO MOTHERFUCKER" says Dave.
Panicking, wanting to fit in I shoUT "YEAHHH BITCH KEEP ON WALKIN'"
Just then my father swiftly grabs my collar and drags me into the front clutter. Then he slams my head onto the floor and sits on my back, at this piont I feel like my spine will break and i probably look like a retarded frog. "Why in the hell are you bieng rude to my neighbors, ha........." I stay silet tears gushing down my sweaty swolen face.. "Ha........ You piece of shit. Your not worth a fucking dime, and thats why your momma shipped you off to me." At this piont Im as confused as Iv ever been."What on earth are you talkin 'bout Mum sent me here because she won tickets to Disneyland in Kerrang magazine" The shakes in my voice indicating immense pain and pressure yet he doesnt budge from his comfortable spot on my spine.
"Well she did, but chances are she wont want you back,..... So your mine now you worthless sack of shit." Theres a tense pause and im trying not to show him my pain by bursting into sudden tears. "And I swear to Satan himself , if you are to even blink at me and i don't like the way you do it..... Then I will destroy you , and your precious little friend. You here me now boy" he begins to stroke my hair and caress the top of my head. "I SAID YOU HERE ME NOW SON". " yeah ...yeah I here you"..
He then gets up and stumbles silently into the kitchen.
Dave staring at me dumbstruck and I surprisingly shut my mouth and silently cry myself into a state I have never been before.
YOU ARE READING
Dont even dare Dy
HumorA young boy who goes by the name of "Noob" goes to Florida to visit his father for the first time. He imagines that his trip will be filled with awkward silences and boring detours around a failing theme park. However when he arrives in his dad's ho...