Beyond Us.

21.

21.

Amir

I puffed another blunt. My mind was in what seemed to be a million different directions. I can't believe Lauren left. Like I knew in my head that she would, but the reality of it all, felt surreal.

Last night after Lo ran out, I called her, but she sent me to voicemail. I cursed myself for not running after her. I thought she was in a guest room until I went to check, and she was no where in the house. It was a little after midnight, and even though where I lived wasn't the hood it was still Brooklyn. I kept calling and texting her only to receive her voicemail and no reply.

I felt truly alone for the first time in a long time. Maybe since my grandma died, and I had to go to the group home. When I was there it was all boys ages 13-17, it felt like prison more than anything. The social workers didn't give a fuck about you, and most of the niggas there couldn't give a fuck about life.

When I was living there I would sneak out after curfew, and meet up with Chris, Rah, and Lindsey to go make drops, and be on the block. I would go by Lo's crib too, her mom would be at work, and didn't come home until 8 in the morning. When we were in high school we had to be at school by 7:50 so she would never know I was there, until one day we got caught when we overslept.

6 months after living there, I got caught breaking curfew, and they threatened me with Juvie, since I was a minor, and I was breaking city curfew. I started the process of getting emancipated. Since my social worker, didn't give a fuck about me, and I was one less case, she gladly signed the paperwork, and I was on my own.

When I first got emancipated, they made me leave that night. I had found an apartment but it wouldn't be ready until 3 months later. So I had nowhere to go. For awhile I bounced around with friends, until Lo asked her mom, could I stay, she explained my situation, and she agreed but I had to sleep on the couch downstairs. Of course I didn't, but since she was never home at night she didn't know.

My alarm began to blare, indicating it was time for me to get ready. I cut it off, and put out my blunt, I had already showered, so I brushed my teeth, and washed my face. I brushed my hair, and I heard my phone in the bedroom, I walked out and went to the night stand, and answered before checking to see who it was, "hello," "Good Morning Amir, there are some things we need to discuss about today." I recognized Danny's voice through the receiver.

"What's up Danny," I asked, feeling the bad news coming. That's all a lawyer should call for anyways right? "I got word that there are going to be under cover DEA at the funeral, you need to be on your Ps and Qs all across the board today. No mess ups, they are still banking on Dominique's testimony, so they're looking for any, and everything to support whatever she may claim." I sighed frustrated with life.

"Alright, I got you," I said exhaustedly. "That means, Dominique too, tell her she needs to be picture perfect, like nothing ever happened." I instantly felt my anger grow, I shook my head trying to calm myself. Everything is so fucked up. I can't catch a fucking break,

"Yeah man, that's it?" I asked, "Yes, I'm sorry for your loss, but there's a lot on the line right now." I heard him say, "whatever." I responded before disconnecting. I found my business phone and sent a text to Money, letting him know about the Feds being at the funeral, and to let everyone know. I then called PJ, one of my more trusted workers.

He answered on the 3rd ring. "Wats good?" He answered, "You tell me, give me an update?" I asked in reference to Dominique since I had him watching guard. "Shorty cool now, a little after I got here she tried to leave but once she saw me she closed the door, I checked the apartment last night she was there, and then again this morning she was still sleep." I nodded, I knew she'd try to leave, but she knows I'm not playing with her anymore. "Yo wake her up, and tell her to get ready for the funeral I'll be there in an hour, and she better be the fuck ready." I threatened hanging up, seriously considering ending her life today.