Unwanted (Mirstie)

Putting Myself Out There.

This chapter means a lot to me... Just thought I would let y'all know. It doesn't directly relate to my life but it's still pretty close. I'm fine now though, I'm happy. Very happy!
Journal entry #9
I'm out there. Out in the open. People are reading the journal. I know the different scenarios of what could happen after they read it. It varies from sympathy, to laughter. But I just can't think of those scenarios right now. It's too overwhelming.

We've already brought Esther to "the good side" as they call it. But what about the rest of them? What about Scott, Avi, Kevin? You know the nicer popular kids. What will they think? I mean their probably like Esther before she read about my story... But I know there's nothing I can do to change that until they read about it.

I've tried talking to Scott a couple of times. He won't budge. It's like Kirstie made him talk to me or something. Or maybe there's a different back story. Maybe he already knows about the scar that have ruined my body. The scars of which his group of friends put on me. Both mentally and physically. Trust me I've tried to open up to him. But every time I say hello... Nothing. Just a nod and he's gone. What did I ever do to him?

Kirstie and I have finally been together at school. There's the occasional glare. Or someone walking up to her and yelling, "WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?" But otherwise we're fine at school. The journal is becoming the main topic of the popular group. (Or at least that's what Kirstie's told me) she also told me that when the topic was brought up Scott would go silent. Aha! Another back story. She said that he always looks upset whenever someone says something negative or something like that. Wow, maybe he just feels bad for me? I don't know.

Anyways enough with all of this. I need to go back to reality.

So here I am. In the middle of junior year, being the centre of attention. Yay me... I never liked attention. I mean c'mon your looking at a tiny, ugly, fat, lonely guy who has never really made any social contact with anyone. Except their mom. But that was only negative. But than again there was my little sister Jenna and she and I could always talk about personal stuff together. Jenna. The poor girl must be drowning in tears thinking about where I am. I need to go back to Jenna. To bring her in my arms and let her know I'm okay. That I'm finally happy. But sadly now if I was 20 feet away from her my mother would kill me. Because she hates me.

"Mitch?" Kirstie said quietly, opening the door to my room. I sat up and looked at her.

"Yes?" I asked. We usually talk a lot to each other. But right now is not the time. I was writing in my journal. And no one interrupts journal time! But I can let this one slip.

"Mitch. You do realize school starts in like," she checked her watch quickly before turning back to me, "20 minutes right? We've got to get going!" I sighed, grabbed my backpack and followed her out the door. When we arrived at school Scott walked up to us worriedly.

"Mitch I'm so sorry for shutting you out, it's just... It's just I've always watched you get beaten up and I felt bad for not doing anything for helpi-" I than cut him off.

"Scott, it's okay. I'm happy now. I'm fine. I've got an amazing girlfriend and I have a feeling that you are going to be my new best friend so calm down please?!" He laughed and nodded his head, he mouthed sorry to me and I laughed. Kirstie just stood there wide eyed trying to grasp the situation. She than shook herself.

"Okay wow that escalated fast." She giggled linking arms with both Scott and I as we walked in. When we walked in, I saw Jeremy and his group of friends looking at my journal and... Laughing? Those idiots.they than saw me and laughed some more.

"Woah mitchie! I'm sorry your little mommy doesn't love you. Too bad you don't have any friends..." I laughed. Oh man he really hasn't read the present day journal entries yet has he? Kirstie and Scott looked like I was crazy.