Unwanted (Mirstie)

I'm Everything But Normal.

Journal entry #6
I'm dying. I can just feel it. My heart is shattering with every passing second and my mind is burning. I may not feel it but I know it's happening.

I know what it feels like to have pain. I've spent the last 10 years in pain. But now, now I don't feel pain. Even when I know it's there. I'm numb. I'm dying. I need help, life support, anything that will keep me breathing. Because even though I may seem like I want to die. I don't.

For all I know I'm everything but normal. And nothing can change that. Not even me. Trust me I've tried. But all that happens is I hit rock bottom.

I feel like my journal entries have and will always be my escape from reality. I have words piling up in my mind that I must speak in any shape or form. It doesn't even have to be verbally. For example, Kirstie was mentally showing me all of her thoughts. I seemed to understand it all only because most of those things have been mistaken events in my life. And sadly their scarred in my heart, forever.

I'm still in the shed. Drowning away my sorrows in my journal. My journal has become a tear soaked mess. The pages are hard and crinkly. And the pages are slowly beginning to run out. I've always had this journal. It's been through my whole life with me. It never leaves my side. That's why I love it.

The shed door slowly creaked open to reveal a petite figure. It walked in and closed the door, shutting out the whole world.

"Mitch?" Came a croaking voice. "I-I'm sorry. I just d-didn't know what to do." Kirstie. She came back even though she knows I'm broken. She can see through my facade.

"It never has been your fault Kirstin," I began, "you just shouldn't put yourself in this. This is my problem now, not yours. I kn-" soon I was cut off by Kirstie's lips kissing mine. I pushed her off and wiped my mouth utterly shocked.

"Kirstie what the hell? You have a boyfriend." I yelled disgusted. She looked down at the ground as tears formed in her eyes.

"I never liked Jeremy. I wanted to be with you. Only you. But I can't. Because of our stupid society." With that she intertwined her fingers with mine and gave my hand a squeeze. She than stood up. When she reached the entrance of the shed she turned around and gave me a weak smile.

"Goodnight Mitch." She said softly before closing the door.

"Goodnight Kirstin Taylor." I said as I curled up into a ball, sleep overtaking me.
*next morning*
When I reached the front of the school there was a huge crowd outside. It was Jeremy. He looked angry and sad all at once.

"WHO DID KIRSTIE KISS LAST NIGHT? WHO MADE HER DECIDE TO BREAK UP WITH ME?" Jeremy yelled causing me to detour around the crowd so no one saw me. Especially Jeremy. I then saw Kirstie, putting away books at her locker.

"Why would you do that?" I asked through gritted teeth softly. She turned around to face me and sighed.

"Because I think one should be with the person they love, instead of thinking about whether or not they rule the world. Because I think when your with that one person you love, it's only you and them. And together you can rule the world."

She smiled at me as she held my hand. I smiled back and lead her to our home room. Ignoring the commotion seemed nice at that moment so I ignored it. I swear I saw every member of staff run to the crowd. But it didn't bother me one bit. The day was going perfectly fine until Kirstie brought it up.

"Will you please come back to my house? I talked to my parents and they feel extremely sorry. Please Mitch I need you." Those words were pretty convincing, but not convincing enough.

"Kirstie anything could happen still. I don't fully trust this plan of yours. Give me some time and I'll think about it." I then sat, pretending to think hard. "I'll do it." We both laughed and headed to our last class of the day.

I grabbed everything from the shed and followed Kirstie back to her house. I knew my way around this house very well so it wasn't too hard to get to 'my' room. I flopped onto 'my' bed and sighed. Today has gone from the crappiest day of my life to the best day of my life. I did not see that coming. I still feel like I'm dying though. I feel like I'm still shattering but I don't know the formula to fix myself... Yet. But I know I'll figure it out soon. Hopefully.

Thinking of a daily question for today was hard. So I just decided to put that aside until after dinner.

"Do you wanna go to the pier?" Kirstie sang quoting frozen. I nodded my head and followed her out the door.

We walked in comfortable silence for what seemed like forever until I decided to say something.

"Why did you really break up with Jeremy?" Hey you can't blame a guy for asking. Besides she's not in tears or anything like that so why not bring it up.

"Because I always was in love with someone else. Now I just felt the need to break up with him and follow my dreams." We were really having a moment. Staring into each other's eyes gleaming, while holding hands didn't even explain what a moment we were having.

"Well what if that someone happens to maybe like you back." Kirstie chuckled. She obviously knew where this was going.

"Is that so? Well then, Mitch I like you a lot." I put on my best acting face I could think of and rolled my eyes.

"Kirstin Taylor Maldonado, you really think I like you? Hell no I love you." I then brought her into the most perfect kiss anyone could ask for. This is exactly how I'd wish everyday would go. Soon we heard thunder cracklings and ran back to her car giggling. When we arrived home we went straight to Kirstie's room just to have some alone time. It just felt so relaxing.

I don't know if I'm even dying anymore. Because Kirstie is picking up all of my shattered parts and is gluing them back together, quickly. She doesn't care about my past, only about my future. Soon I finally found my daily question.

Daily Question #6
Am I falling too hard?