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I dialled Anirudh’s number, and after three rings he picked up, his voice half-sleepy and half-irritated.
“Abhi night shift se aake soya tha… abhi hi call karni thi tumhe?” he complained.
“Ignoring that… I need to ask you something very important,” I said flatly.
“Kya?”
“If your wife gets angry… how do you pacify her?”
“Kiski biwi ko manana hai tumhe?”
“Kitno ki mana chuke hai hum? Obviously Apni.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose.
There was a pause. Then his voice jumped. “Oh han… kyaa? Ek minute. Ab kya kar diya tumne?”
“Lambi kahani hai… short mein bata deta hoon.”
He groaned. “Ek kaam karo phone rakh do. Biwi toh maan bhi jaaye… par tumhari biwi Vidya hai. Usko manane ke ideas humpe toh na hai.”
“Tum useless hi rahoge,” I muttered. “Akshita ko call karo.”
He added her on conference.
“Bolo, Jija ji. Kya kar diya ab?” she said, already laughing.
I explained the whole kurti-green-shirt disaster in one breath and asked for ideas.
“Apne saare green shirts ko aag laga do,” she said without missing a beat.
“That green shirt? She gifted it to me. Tum chahti ho kal k marte aaj mar jaaye hum?”
“Arre yaar, usko manana easy toh nahi hai… par itna mushkil bhi nahi hai or wo gifts wagerah se manane walo me se hai bhi hai,” Akshita reasoned. “Ab sochna tumhe khud hoga. Hum toh use apni bakwas se hi mana lete hain, or tum...tum pyaar se mana lo. You know what I mean..."
I cleared my throat, “Phone rakh dena hi sahi hoga.”
“Han thik hai. Khud ki buddhi toh showpiece k liye hai? Khud sochlo ab hume call karna bhi mat aage se.” She hung up before I could reply.
I stared at the screen, sighing. . . . They both stepped into the house around eight in the evening, arms full of shopping bags that could’ve easily stocked an entire boutique. I walked out of the kitchen, wiping my hands on a towel — but to her, I might as well have been invisible.
“Itna sab kya le liya aap dono ne?” I asked, forcing a small smile.
“Jo bhi pasand aaya,” Maa replied cheerfully, taking a seat on the couch and sipping some water.
I sat beside her, hoping maybe Vidya would at least glance my way. But she didn’t. Instead, she turned to Maa with that sweet voice she reserves for everyone except me for last few hours.
