𝑪𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆- 𝑾𝒂𝒓 𝑶𝒇 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆

𝟑𝟔. 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

Author's Pov

Vidya shut the door, catching her breath, trying to push the tears back, her whole body shaking like she had just committed a murder. As she turned, she rushed to the window, swayed away the sheets and peeked out to check on Mrityunjay—but he was nowhere.

The emptiness outside struck her like a slap.
The tears she had been holding back streamed down, silent and relentless. She collapsed to the floor, knees hitting the cold tiles, her palms clutching her head.

Her mind echoed with the words she had flung at him like daggers.
"GET LOST!"

And the way he had looked at her—broken, but quiet. No yelling. No begging. Just that silent surrender. That's what hurt the most. He had stopped fighting.

"What did I do?" she whispered to herself, rocking slightly.
"Why do I always do this... why do I push away the only person who ever stayed?"

She crawled to the corner, hugging her knees, her breathing erratic. Her voice cracked as she muttered, "He left... he really left..."

The room was quiet except for her muffled sobs, but her thoughts screamed.

"I wanted him to react like that then why it's hurting?" She muttered and gasped for air. "Why suddenly the air become thick? Why I'm feeling like the purpose of my life just ended?" She started hitting her chest. 

"No! No! No! I can't be a fool... I did what was right for us... This pain... This unbearable pain in my chest... Why is this fucking pain rising again???"  She stood up and insanely started searching for lighter or a candle. 

When she found nothing in the living area, she went to the kitchen and when she found the candle. She rushed inside the room and quickly lighted the candle, opened her shirt and bra. For a moment she paused as a memory struck her. 

FLASHBACK

"Why she never talk to anyone?" A girl who was walking behind Vidya in the campus asked the companion. 

She laughed and said, "Baby, we don't talk to her." 

"But why? Does she belong to lower class?" She asked curiously. 

"Nahhh! Her father is a businessman and a evil too.... My father told me.... He had an affair with his worker for like 20 years..." She intentionally said everything louder making Vidya rush to the car and later at home, when her chest ached with pain she lighted the lighter and burned it until the inner pain was shaded by the outer...

FLASHBACK ENDS

Her trembling fingers clutched the candle tighter as the flame flickered wildly—almost as if warning her. The heat licked at the air between them, and just as she brought it closer to her bare skin, she froze.

A memory surged.

"Vidya, tumhe lagta hai dard se sab kuch theek ho jayega? Mujhe bhi dard hota hai jab tum khud ko takleef deti ho."
His voice, soft but aching.
His hands gently pushing away the blade from her hand.
His eyes—pleading, afraid, full of love.

She gasped, stepping back, as if the flame itself had burned through her conscience before even touching her skin.
Her knees gave in again and she collapsed on the floor beside the bed.

"I hate you, Mrityunjay..." she whispered, her voice cracked and choked with sobs,
"because I can't stop loving you..."

He was supposed to hate me.