Coffee For Two (FioLee)

Americano

~Author's Note~

So... none of us have done a coffee shop AU...? Not that I know how to do a coffee shop AU... hence the spies... but still, this seems like every other fandom has done it? And as far as I know, Wattpad has the largest Fiolee community? Anyway, feel free to use the Coffee Shop-- we need actual coffee shop AUs. Just not Coffee-Shop-Spies. That is mine.

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Penelope Rosser clicked her long, purple nails on the table next to her thoughtfully as the man in front of her whimpered. "Do you really think I didn't know the police were infiltrating my shop?"
She smirked, tossing her curly black hair over her shoulder. "How stupid do you think I am?"

"Stupid enough to prance around hair-flipping..." Her prisoner panted.
Penelope narrowed her eyes, tilting his face up. His watery blue eyes met her eyes, as black as the space between the stars. "I can be evil, and I can be beautiful, and I can be smart. I refuse to let you pigeonhole me. You are a deadbeat father of three who tried to pass himself off as a college student when you barely look your own age due to your excessive passiveness about wasting your own life."

He spat at her, and she wiped it off calmly. "That'll buy you another hour in the Hot Seat, officer. And really, why the hatred? Is it because I'm not wasting my life and if I ever choose to marry, she won't regret it as much as your wife clearly did. I hope to God she's slept with the mailman, she might actually have had some satisfaction in her life."

He swore at her, and she stepped away. "What an unoriginal insult... is that the best that you have got?"
"I was a bit preoccupied with the mind-numbing torture!" He snarled.
She chuckled. "I guess it was. Pity. I thought you had some creativity, officer. Why else would your wife marry you? It's certainly not for the financial stability..."

"Stay away from Margaret!" He growled.
Penelope shrugged. "Well, that might be a bit hard to do... Margaret and I... well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You have bigger things on your mind than whether or not she was faking it for you the whole time, since I'm fairly certain she wasn't for me."
"You filthy--! She's not--!"
"She's bisexual." Penelope interrupted. "And are you done? You have a lot of sass for someone who was pissing his pants a minute ago."

He swore at her, and she waved her fingers at him, before walking towards the door. "Well, I'd love to stay and watch your last moments, but Margaret and I have a dinner date. Your children are lovely, by the way. Cindy made me a drawing."
"Stay away from my family!" He yelled hoarsely, but she was already gone, her high-heels clacking on the stone floor down the hall.

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Fionna fidgeted nervously in her seat as her supervisor reviewed her case file.
"Why do you want to transfer, again?" Cake finally asked, meeting her adopted sister's eyes. Cake had brought her sister into the FBI in the first place, watching her rise through the ranks until Fionna became one of the top assassins. Okay, the sword thing was kind of messy, but it was super effective.

"Because... it feels weird. Without him. I keep thinking he's going to be right behind me, and I feel like that's going to get me shot, or something." Fionna explained.
Cake didn't bother to ask who 'he' was, knowing full well. "Come on, babycakes. I know you better than that-- don't let a guy get you down."

"This isn't like the other times." Fionna argued. "This isn't like getting over some CIA guy, or-or whatever."
Cake noticed her sister falter, and turned to the sheet in front of her. "And where do you suggest I place you? You can't be a honeypot-- you won't wear a dress, for one thing."

"Dresses are stupid and I'm fine the way I am." Fionna huffed.
"I know you are, but you're supposed to be seducing people. I don't think you'd be comfortable with getting close to someone, and doing tier 15 and stuff, and then either watch them die, or watch them be taken away hating your guts."
Fionna fidgeted again, looking at her hands in her lap.

Cake sighed. "What about infiltration?"
Fionna nodded. "I can wear disguises and stuff!"
Cake smiled a little wistfully at her sister, biting her lip to keep from blurting out about the memory of them playing dress-up, where Fionna always demanded to be the heroine. They'd always made their other sister be the damsel-in-distress, much to Charmiane's displeasure. But Fionna had grown up now.

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"I don't understand why you can't just remain a honeytrap." Gumball snorted.
Marshall lounged in the chair across from him. "Christ, Gumbutt. I'm practically selling myself, and for what? What would I find out from pillow talk that I couldn't find out by James Bonding it up?"
"James Bond was a honeytrap." Gumball pointed out, scowling at the nickname. "He was very clearly a honeytrap."

Marshall groaned, tossing his head back against the chair. "I don't care. I'm tired of having to get a physical after every mission because asking the Russian whatever about her history might have killed the mood and gotten me."
Gumball shot him a look. "Well, what do you suggest, then?"
"Switch me to infiltration."

Gumball blinked at him. "You... want to be a sleeper?"
Marshall shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
Gumball shook his head. "Absolutely not. With your luck, you'd be sent to North Korea and get in trouble the minute they figured out that you only speak English."
"North Korea's not the worst place you could send me." Marshall pointed out.

Gumball glared at him, before stating icily, "I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, get out of my office."
"Wow, okay, rude."
Gumball pointed to the door. "Out."

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*Author's Note #2*

I actually kind of love Penelope? She doesn't take shit from people? And also, because I need to work on my representation (seriously, I only have one bi guy, one gay guy, one asexual guy, and one transgender girl, not to mention I don't think I have any people of color??? What's up with that?) Penelope is a pansexual, transgender woman of color.

And no, I'm not villainizing any of those. I just don't make OCs that often anymore, and while I probably should edit my cis-hetero-white bread cast of thousands, I don't leave many behind. I have too many OCs, and Penelope is an awesome villain.