Where We Left Off

Chapter 20

I slept over at Lindy's. I'm still in shock from everything that happened last night. My mom keeping a secret from me for years. I'm laying on the couch, staring at the white ceiling, and mentally looking through my memories. Trying to remember if there were any slip-ups from her that I could have missed. But my head is blank, because all I can remember crying into my pillow or facing a blank wall on my childhood bedroom, and ignoring anyone that came in. Tugging at the throw blanket, and glancing at the phone on the floor that won't stop buzzing. I know I been receiving random text messages from both of my parents and Jay. I'm glad they gave up calling cause clearly I was not going to answer. After Lindy invited me in, I only messaged Jay and only texted Lindy's. It's the least thing I can do, so she knows I'm somewhere safe. My aunt can be the messenger to the others.

Picking up my phone, scrolling through the dozen of texts. I don't have the energy to deal with these people, and reaching behind me to charge it and setting it on Do Not Disturb. I'll turn off tomorrow morning.

"Hey!" I snapped, after having my legs shoved off the couch, so my best friend can take a seat on the other side of the couch. But being the brat that I am, I put on my feet on her lap. I have her fuzzy socks on. She rolled her eyes, and handed a cup of coffee. "Thanks."

"How did you sleep?" she asks, then taking a drink of her coffee.

"Great, the best night sleep I had in a while," I lied.

She arched her brow.

"Crappy," I say, being honest. I literally cried into Lindy's arms last night, and fell on the couch. I was so upset that I couldn't make it to her guest bedroom. She took off my shoes and cover me with the giant blanket; telling me we'll talk in the morning. I nodded, and pretended to fall asleep after she walked off. But I couldn't sleep at all, I'm pretty sure that I only got total of four hours of rest. All I can think about is the argument with my mom. And wondering if my dad had any part in her deceit, I wanna to believe that he didn't cause it wouldn't make sense why she would have involved him since they just got along after the divorce was finalized. Yet, I'm mentally kicking myself because I can't even be mad at him, since I been keeping a secret too. Except, mine is just a white lie that eventually becomes the truth. And after I impress Sofia with all of my hard work for Simon's gallery, I know she will give me a bigger opportunity that can make up for the small lie and prove to my dad that I will be successful, without following his footsteps. Yes, a lie is a lie. But, mine doesn't manipulate a whole story while someone was suffering a mega head injury at the time, like some people.   

"I figured, but it's new day... so..." She gently move my feet to the side, to get some of the blanket to cover herself, once she comfortable and says, "Right now, it's around nine in the morning, so what the fuck happened last night?" Lindy always liked to go straight to the point.

I told my best friend everything that happened last night, going into detail how it was a nice family dinner, celebrating my twenty-third birthday then becomes a shit-show full of family drama and secrets being revealed. It all started when I learned that Jackson dropped off a gift to Jay, she was probably hoping after the celebration I can open it alone once everyone else has gone home. But instead, it got mixed up with the other presents and my mom pretty much figured out who's it from and it led her admitting the secret she kept from me about my relationship for years. She believes that she's a mother protecting her daughter from heartbreak. And continuing this lie that Jackson did take the money and skipped town while I was in the hospital.

Lindy gulps loudly, and cupping the side of her mug. I tilled my head to the side, making me roll my eyes. "Just ask." Her face shows what she's thinking.

"I mean, are you sure about Jackie, though?" she asks, "Let's be real, you don't know what's he capable of, not then and especially not now. Merch, you're my girl okay? So I'mma going to say it, you don't know him anymore."

My face drops a little, as I let the outspoken truth sink in. Because, Lindy's right, yet I can't bring to myself to agree with her. Can you truly not know a person, even though you known them in somewhat your whole life? I don't have the answer, as the years went by, time confirms that I don't know Jackson Taylor anymore, it seems unlikely considering I known him since we were kids. We're not children anymore, but a piece of my heart wants to be that little boy that helped my family moved into our house years ago is still in him somewhere. The first boy I had a crush on and quickly got over it when I was fourteen. The young man that I fell in love with in high school. My first time. My person that can share every part of myself and been my side through everything. I felt every emotion when it comes to him: anger, sadness, happiness, insanity, love, and most of all pain. No matter how in love I was, he caused me the most of my pain. He's literally my strength and weakness. It was exciting and electric, yet I never felt steady when he's around.

Lindy pushes her hair back, "Look, what your mom did... it's still pretty fucked up, you can be pissed at her for lying but don't be pissed at the part where she thought she was protecting you."

"By lying?" I stubbornly pointed out. There are better ways for protection.

She groans and finishes her coffee, "Clearly you're still in your feelings, rightfully so," she quickly adds once she saw me glaring, and takes my empty mug, walking into the kitchen. "Let's just forget your mom today, and focus on getting your party setup."

I get off the couch and fold up her throw blanket, following her to the kitchen. "Honestly, a party is the last-

"Absolutely not!" she intercepts, after raising off the cups. "You are not using your mess as excuse to avoid your party." Resting her hands on the island countertop, standing up straight. She means business, especially when she planning an event. "It's your birthday!"

"My birthday was yesterday." The lack of sleep is making extra bratty.

"Bitch, shut up!" she says, annoyed with me. "The point is you are having fun tonight, and not focusing on the other bullshit. Okay, I already got the approval from my building to reserve the rooftop, and my man and Alex are on the way right now with a car full decorations... so you don't really have a choice."

As I think it over, I'm really not up for a party. Yet, I don't want to go back on my word, because Lindy seems she worked hard getting event together and least thing I can do is put on a brave and show up. I faced the ceiling and take a breath and look back at the girl in a yellow fuzzy sweater, giving daggers with her hazel eyes like she daring me to challenge her. She looks ridiculous but still a little scary.

"Okay," I agreed. I hope I don't regret this.

 Lindy smiles, impressed with herself. Shaking my head, I can't believe she got me to back down. But, knowing her if I even tried to push back, she would probably leaped over this counter and tackle me down to the floor.

She lefts her tangled hair up into a messy bun, "Great, now go get ready. Because, I got you an hair appointment with Tasha this afternoon, it's cool she owes me a favor. Just make sure you give her a generous tip."

"Bet," I say as head to the bathroom to take a shower. Lindy already mentioned that she left some clothes, a towel and washcloth for me. "But, uhh, can you run over to Jay's house to pick up some things for me?" I asks, keeping head out of the entrance of the bathroom so she can still see my face. "I mean, I would go but I really don't want to pick up from where we left off from last night."

"I got you."

I thanked her and told her I'll text what I need, and closes the door. I turned on the shower, giving it a chance for the water to get hot. I checked out the clothing she left for me: black sweatpants and top tank. I'm going to have to remember to grab a hoodie as I head out for the appointment. Striping down my own clothes and getting into the shower. Washing my body with Lindy's coconut-scented body wash, silently praying that nothing else happens tonight.