Crack of Sunlight (Ereri/Riren)

*~Chapter Eleven~*

Days passed. Weeks, and then a month.

A month.

Of emptiness.

School went on, so did work. Life in general resumed around the teen as if nothing had happened. The back room of the shop was finally cleaned up and Reiner had Eren do other things. Levi neglected to ever show up after revealing his secret to Eren on Christmas. Reiner said he was on leave until further notice for personal reasons...

"I don't know what for. He didn't say and it isn't my place to ask."

Eren knew why. He knew exactly why Levi had taken this leave, or so he thought.

"I don't get it, Eren. You seemed to be one of the few people he actually liked. He seemed to be climbing out of the hole he was in because of you. And then one day he comes in and says he'll be gone until further notice unless I wanted to fire him. I can't afford to lose someone as good as him, so no way was I gonna do that, but...I really just don't understand it."

"I don't know, either," said Eren flatly. Fortunately, Reiner dropped the subject after that.

That month was seemingly the longest of Eren's life. He found himself reluctant to get out of bed each morning. His grades quickly started slipping. He was no longer as talkative and cheerful around his friends, and they noticed, despite his forced efforts to seem his normal self.

He was plunging back into his depression from when his father passed away. He knew it, though felt completely powerless to do anything about it unlike last time. He was empty. There was a void in him that let the wind blow right through.

Was it due to the short, raven-haired artist's absence? No - that was ridiculous. He was an addict; nothing good could come out of a relationship like that. Sure, Levi had made him feel things he'd never imagined before; - a longing, foreign urges, fluttering and anticipation in unexplainable ways - he even had an inkling he loved the druggie, but he refused to let it get to him now. He wouldn't subject himself to a relationship like that, even on the off chance the feelings were requited.

These words were drilled over and over in his head, trained to surface every time even the subtlest thoughts of Levi attempted to poke their way through. Those thoughts were persistent, however, and seemed to get stronger each time they tried to invade.

Eren denied over and over and over again that his depression was caused by Levi's absence. A part of him, deep down, knew he was lying to himself, that this was exactly the reason for it. He forcefully shoved that piece of himself away, - those feelings - buried them in other, less important things, building yet another wall to hold them back. This only served to make the cloud of depression darker, but he tried to work around that as well. There was so much built up inside of him that it was only a matter of time before his personal, internal dam gave out.

He thought of it kind of like a garbage can when you're too lazy to empty it. You keep shoving things inside of it, more and more, thinking it'll make it until trash day when you'll take it out...but it doesn't, and eventually the trash spills out or the bag breaks.

'What, now I'm comparing my emotions to trash? Ha, makes sense...'

"Eren, you in there?"

There was a loud snapping noise that broke the brunet out of his internal babble and his head snapped up.

"Huh?"

It was Armin, snapping his bony fingers in front of Eren's face. They were sitting at their normal spot in the dining hall before school having breakfast. The rest of his friends were chattering away amongst themselves while Armin was attempting to capture Eren's attention.