Crack of Sunlight (Ereri/Riren)

*~Chapter Twenty Eight~*

please don't hate me for this...

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Turquoise eyes fluttered open to a dark bedroom. The first thing Eren was aware of was the stiffness of his back and how the headboard dug into his ribs. With a grunt, he sat up, a blanket he'd been covered with falling from his chest and pooling in his lap. He vaguely recognized it as the one he kept in the trunk of his car. Upon stretching out his arms, he realized the bed was absent of Levi. Remembering the events of the night before, he threw the blanket from his legs and quickly climbed out of bed. He stopped short once reaching the door, seeing that across the hall the bathroom was vacant. If Levi had relapsed, it had been a while ago. He took a deep breath simultaneously pulling his fingers through his already messy hair and shuffled down the hallway. He half expected to see Levi drawing or staring off into space as he often did after a relapse, but as he rounded the corner into the living room he turned out to be wrong.

Levi hadn't relapsed, that much he was able to tell immediately. There was a change in his demeanor and attitude when he was under the influence, something that disturbed Eren because he could feel that it wasn't truly Levi, but more like a ghost of him while the real him was caged inside.

The raven sat on the couch, knees up and arms resting on them, forehead pressed into his sleeves. He seemed much more relaxed than the night before, but he was still. Too still.

"Levi?" Eren murmured, taking a cautious step forward.

The artist's body twitched and he lifted his head ever so slowly. His eyes were glassy; a fire burned within them. He definitely hadn't relapsed.

Before sinking down onto the floor in front of him, Eren noted the nibbled on piece of toast and half empty cup of tea on the coffee table.

"How are you feeling?"

Eren should've expected the impossible raspiness of Levi's usual lower baritone when he spoke.

"Better physically. Emotionally it's like I've been thrown into the deepest pits of hell."

Instinctively, Eren extended his hand forward but thought better of it and dropped it back into his lap.

"Need to talk about it?"

"Remember when I told you the memories are the hardest part?" A nod. Gray eyes slid closed. "Every time I close my eyes I see everything. It's eating me half alive." His head fell back into the nest of arms and knees. Eren wracked his brain for something to say that might be helpful, but came up with nothing he hadn't already said to sound genuine enough. Instead he reached up again and gently pried Levi's fingers from around his leg. He took the one hand between both of his and rubbed it gently, sending attempted silent reassurances through touch alone. Lazily, Levi's body unraveled. His knees dropped so he sat cross legged; his arms fell like dead weight to his sides. Eren had never seen someone look so defeated, so terribly burdened by depression, and that included himself.

"Don't give up," he found himself whispering. "Please. For me."

Levi shook his head just slightly and suddenly he was descending, bending all the way over so his forehead found something of a pillow on Eren's left shoulder as he pushed his fingers between Eren's.

"I can't do this, Eren," he mumbled brokenly.

The lump in the teen's throat returned as he reached up with his free hand to rub gentle circles in the bony back of the artist.

"You can. You have to fight it. I believe in you."

"You idiot. Don't you see I'm hopeless?"

"That's not true. You can survive this." Eren swallowed hard. "You just need the right kind of help. Help I'm not capable of offering."