Crack of Sunlight (Ereri/Riren)

*~Chapter Twenty Nine~*

First thing's first: this is the second to last chapter of part one.

And second, I'm putting a trigger warning on this chapter for self harm. Yes, I know it's been mentioned before, but in this chapter it's a little more...graphic. I'll put a warning down in the chapter essentially where it begins and ends so if you feel the need to, you can skip it. It's all pretty bad, but I'll tag the worst of it. Basically, read at your own risk and please, please be safe. (I just suck and have to hurt every fictional character ever >~<)

Thirdly, regarding that above and something that'll happen earlier on, if you didn't hate me after the last chapter, I have very little doubt you won't after this one. Sorry...?

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That night, a while after the sun had gone down, the two were huddled up on the couch, Levi having claimed to be cold again and curled up against Eren's side and fallen asleep. Eren remained awake, staring blankly into the darkness and letting his thoughts wander.

His mother's words echoed in his mind.

'Sometimes you have to take action for the people you care about without their consent in order to help them.'

Of course this was something Eren had known all along. But of course, he'd been afraid. Afraid that Levi might still resist and then hate him for trying to force him. Afraid that somehow, for some reason, it wouldn't work. Afraid that even if it did, he would still end up hated by the one he cared for the most. These thoughts were terribly selfish on his part. It shouldn't matter whether or not Levi ended up loathing him or not. He should only care about helping him get better...for real.

His eyes traveled down to the man whose all too slender waist he held tenderly. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his lips parted just slightly and the breaths moving between them audible in the wheezing of his tired lungs. His face had relaxed from the scowls and grimaces of pain, and for once, he truly looked comfortable.

And suddenly, merely studying Levi's sunken, sickly face, Eren's fears didn't much matter anymore; Levi's health was much more important than any of them. He still preferred to let Levi make the decision on his own, but there was no doubt he hadn't much time left to decide. If he wanted Levi to have a chance, he would have to take action, and soon.

Two days, he concluded. He would give it two more days before he did anything. If Levi hadn't made the decision on his own by February 19th, he'd do it for him, no matter what the circumstances.

~*~

Several hours later, Eren's eyes were fluttering open from a light slumber before he realized he'd fallen asleep. An overwhelming feeling of dread laid heavy on his shoulders as his vision focused on a light down the hall. It became clear that it was the bathroom light streaming through the cracked door. Levi had disappeared from his side, leaving a pool of his blankets in his wake, and suddenly Eren just knew.

He shot to his feet in an instant, his own blanket sliding to his feet. He stumbled toward that light, still considerably disoriented from having just woken up. He didn't expect what he saw once he reached the bathroom and nudged the door open with his toe.

Inside, Levi sat on the floor in a trembling mess. His sullen cheeks were soaked with the tears endlessly flowing from his ducts. He faced the cabinet under the sink having stripped off two of his layers, the sleeves of the third pushed all the way up to above his biceps, revealing the monstrosities that were his tense arms. His hair concealed his eyes but not his lips, pressed together tightly. One hand was balled into a knuckle-whitening fist. The other was poised above the crook of his elbow, wrapped around the filled syringe with the tip of the needle already buried into one of his veins. Eren opened his mouth to try and stop him just as his thumb lifted and shoved the plunger completely down into the barrel.