Never Too Late

Chapter Forty Three

Ericka stared at Johan's back as he disappeared into the crowd in search of his brother, but she couldn't move. Her heart was still pounding in her ears as she replayed their conversation in her mind. He knew all along that she loved him.

Did she really wear her heart on her sleeve? How and when did he figure it out?

Forcing those thoughts aside, a more pressing matter burned in her heart. What did he mean by she was confused? Did he really think she had her feelings for him and Luke mixed up just because they looked the same? Did he think she didn't know the difference between the two of them?

Anger stirred in her body and flushed her face at the insult that she couldn't discern her feelings. She was well aware of her love for the brothers and had been wrestling with her emotions.

The love she had for Luke was sweet and endearing, and he made her feel warm but the love she had for Johan was something completely different. It began as a spark that quickly grew and ignited into a flame so intense that she burned whenever she saw him. She longed for any chance she could see him, and whenever he was with her, she was consumed by passion. She loved everything about him; the way he smiled, the way he spoke, the way he listened to her. Hearing him say she was confused, infuriated, and hurt her, because whenever he was there, she was overcome with want for him.

Willing herself with courage, and the need to be heard, she ran into the crowd after him, but he had already disappeared from sight. Desperately she searched for him, not caring if she herself got lost in the crowd. She couldn't let him leave things like this. What about college? What about the dreams they'd spoken of? What about her? She knew she was thinking selfishly but she couldn't let him walk out of her life when she'd already fallen so deeply in love.

Breaking free of the crowd, she found herself at a cotton candy stand where the seller spun a circular device that coated thin sticks with colorful lightweight candy for customers, one of whom was Liz. She wore a delightful smile as she took two of the treats, the opposite of the expression Ericka wore. As she watched her, she was overcome with jealousy and anger at Liz for trying to take Johan away. Was she really Johan's type? Was she worth not going to college? What did he see in her?

She hated that she felt that way about someone she barely knew, especially since she didn't know if Johan was the one made the decision to leave town with her. Pulling her bear closer, she pondered if Johan was so in love with Liz, why did he still have feelings for her? Whatever the answer was she couldn't let him depart from her life just like that without a fight.

She walked up to Liz, nervousness gripping her, but desperation made her bold.

"Hey Liz," she called, getting her attention. She turned to her a little surprised before her expression turned warm.

"Did you get lost? I thought Johan would keep an eye on you," she said in a voice akin to a mother speaking to a child. Irritation burned her cheeks because in everyway, Liz seemed the more mature woman, and she a juvenile unworthy of Johan although she was eighteen.

"Do you love Johan?" She asked brazenly, not caring if she sounded rude or if it was too sudden.

"Huh? Well, that's a strange question." Liz answered smoothly. "Why do you ask?"

"If you love him why do you want him to give up on his dreams?" She asked daringly.

"What are you talking about?" Liz paused, confused, and Ericka continued.

"You know he wants to go to college right? He wants to become a chemical engineer and travel the country helping people," She began. "He told me that he wants to help children in foster care and make medicine for people who are sick yet you want him to give that up?"

"What? When did he say that!?" Liz asked as her expression morphed to surprise and confusion.

Ericka paused, wondering if she had said too much since Johan had told her these things in confidence but if this was what it took for him to stay, she wouldn't hide anything.

"He got accepted into Oxford, and he was planning to go; he told me it was all he ever wanted, so why would you take that away from him!?" She inquired, her eyes stinging.

"Johan never told me he wanted to go to college," Liz murmured as she took a step back, her eyes deep with thoughts. She knew it was unfair to blame Johan leaving solely on Liz but she hoped this would convince her to make him stay.

"Please tell him not to go, he would be making the biggest mistake of his life." she pleaded in hopes she understood just how many Johan could save.

After a brief pause, and blanket of silence that was filled only with the sounds of rides and laughter a smile finally returned to Liz's face and she looked up at Ericka again.

"If what you say is true then it's time I let Johan go," she spoke in a voice as soft as cotton.

Ericka felt jubilation spring through her body and she almost jumped for joy that she had actually gotten to her. She would tell Johan not to leave and he they would go to college! Her elation quickly died however when she realized that this didn't mean Liz would break up with Johan nor he would change his mind about going with her but she hoped he would see reason.

Just then, Luke emerged from the crowd walked over to them, jolting her from her thoughts.

"There you two are," he said holding drinks for them. "Let's get going, we should try another ride before it gets too late."

"Yeah, let's do that!" Liz said cheerfully, as if the conversation between Ericka and her never happened.

"Alright, I'll go ahead with Ericka. You and Johan can meet us at the Ferris wheel later." Luke said to Liz before smiling warmly at her.

Smiling back faintly, she nodded as she felt a burgeoning feeling of dread in her stomach.

Was it right for her to basically ask Liz to break up with Johan? Just because he told her his feelings didn't mean he wanted to be with her and even if he changed his mind and went to college it didn't mean they would end up together.

Looking over her shoulder she saw that Liz had met up with Johan again and they were smiling and talking just as before. Shame colored her face when she realized that Liz must've been humoring her and had no intention of saying anything to Johan. Oh how she must've looked like a fool pleading to her!

Hanging her head, she followed closely beside Luke as she realized that all hope was lost. Soon she may never see Johan again.

***

Johan stretched tiredly in bed and yawned before rubbing his face. He'd stayed out longer than he planned at the carnival and now his limbs were heavy with sleep. Pulling himself out of bed, he sat there for a minute before yawning and checking the time. Getting off the bed, he heard faint sounds from the floor below. As he opened his door slightly as guessed his mother was preparing breakfast.

Pausing, he remembered that this was the morning he'd planned to tell his parents and Rachel he was leaving with Liz. He could already hear it, the pestering and pleads to reconsider which would surely be a pain but his mind was made up and tomorrow he and Liz would be on the road together. Yawning again, he went to the bathroom and washed his face before returning to change, mentally bracing himself for the argument that was likely to ensue when his phone rang.

"Yeah?" He answered annoyed that the call had disturbed his mental preparation.

"Oh God Johan!" The voice said in a voice full of shock. He recognized it as his old friend Tony and wondered what could've caused him to sound so shaken up this early in the morning.

"What happened? Is everything okay?" He asked, speculating that he had gotten himself in trouble.

"No, no," he said in a shaky breath. "It's Liz... She's dead."