The Diary of the Devil

The Diary of the Devil [1]

You know that stereotypical myth where the devil has red skin, horns, a tail, wears red leather, and has a three pronged, red hot poker? Well, I knew a devil who had orange, curly hair, a fierce, intelligent expression, a killer upper cut, and legs as long as the Gaza Strip. Her name was Max and she was my constant bully from the day I was born, to the present. I was absolutely clueless as to what I did to her that made me numero uno on her hit list. I was just an innocent kid with only two friends.

Sure, I wore spikes around my neck sometimes and had a lip piercing. But that was a stage I went through in Junior High. My mom wouldn't let me get it sewn up. She said it was a life lesson and that when I'm older and get my first job I could repair it with my own money. Well, I had my first job. As a guy who makes smoothies at a local, old-fashioned market. But I didn't have enough money to see the doctor about the hole just yet.

Max Callers was, as far as my reasoning would take me, THE devil. There was no other one who was more cruel, vicious, aggressive, evil, degrading, demeaning, prejudiced.... I could go on all day. My point was that there was no one who was as terrible as her. And if she were the worst, then that would clearly mean that she was the devil. Aren't devils supposed to be the baddest creatures in all of the land? Yep, that was her. Max Callers.... Even thinking her name gave me chills. And not the good kind.

Think of an insult. Any insult at all, and I can guarantee she has called me it before. Childish pranks that you'd pull on your brothers or sisters? Been there. But when we were five. Ever since the moment she's laid eyes on me she has hated me. And to top it all off, we were neighbors. Have been since the day we both came back from the hospital.

Our parents were best friends. They knew we were enemies. And at the last dinner we had together where Max took the opportunity to shred all my clothes and make them unfixable by bunching them up and gluing them together did they finally, truly understand the meaning of our hate. They accepted it too, and didn't force us to come down to the dinners anymore. Except on Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. I locked all precious items of mine away and bolted my room on those days. The only way she'll ever getting into my room again was with an extremely powerful saw and over my dead body.

One of two of my best friends Noah thought Max was "smokin' hot." When he had informed me of this gruesome fact, I almost upchucked my lunch. Never in a million years would I think she was pretty. She's a disgusting beast... with a perfectly straight nose, blue eyes that sometimes change to green, plump, rosy lips, and a soft, curvy body. So, whatever. I think she's good looking. But that doesn't mean I like her. Because I don't. I hate her. Her looks may be above average, but her personality was hideous. 

O_^.^_O_^.^_O_^.^_O

When I woke up on Monday morning it was pouring outside. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed through the sky. The gloomy mood it set me in described any teenager's feelings about school. I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and looked out my window. I scowled at the sight I saw.

Max Callers, in a T-shirt and pajama pants, looking out her window and checking the weather, too. She flipped me the bird when she noticed me. I gave her two. She flung open her window, ignoring the rain. 

"Still trying to live your pathetic life?" she smirked. "Why don't you join a gym sometime, you scrawny loser?"

I didn't have to look down to know she was right. About the scrawny part, not the loser part. (Having only two friends doesn't make me a loser. My mother always said I'd rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies. Mine just happened to be two fifty cent coins.) I was kind of on the skinny side, which defied logic since my diet consisted of chocolate chip cookies and chocolate chip cookies.

I didn't answer her, or open my window. Just as I dropped the curtain on her hideous face, she turned away, back inside, and closed her window. I didn't let her words get to me anymore than they had by erasing them from my mind. My day was already sucky, why ruin it more?